A farmer’s wife should always greet guests in the nude as this creates harmony
There are four types of Maze. Always grow the fifth
Teach all your livestock about the probability of famine
Your cottage should be effortless in its beauty
You should not be able to see Iceland from your highest tree
Combine Harvesters should receive holidays in April, May and July
Your sheepdog should be called Gurdjieff and have ability in four languages
Sheep become invisible in the winter as apples do in the summer. The reason for this is unknown
Of your twenty-eight fields, six should be left fallow. The size of your farm should not exceed four hundred and ninety six acres
You should twin your farm with those in Rhodesia