Young Sardanapalus has always

appreciated the last minute dinners

left for him by the porters

who whilst in retirement

still reside at the college

 

Young Sardanapalus has always exercised

the greatest caution

when taking women back to his rooms

an undergarment left within view

or a sudden shriek of pleasure

might reveal his hidden game

He has often considered the priesthood

 

When attending lectures at the college

Young Sardanapalus often falls asleep

(The consequence of many nights)

and dreams of his attendance

 

In terms of learning

Young Sardanapalus has few equals

he is often to be found

studying in his rooms at night

with a bottle of claret

as a companion

 

During his days at college

Young Sardanapalus joined only one society

The Balfours 

in his final year

he was elected as its president

an honour that occasioned tears