Visiting Castles in the Nude
I am a carer
But the trouble is that I do not really care
I care for a forty-eight year old man with CP
His name is Hugh Macaroni-Cheese
But I call him Frank
As I cannot be fucked to call him Hugh
We often visit castles in the Kent area
Frank insists that he conducts these visits in the nude
Which is quite gross as I wear a polo shirt and sensible slacks
For some reason his twisted unattractive body seems to attract
And quite often I leave him in female company
Where he often receives a blow or if he is very lucky a fuck
When this happens I take time out to look at the exhibits
And research the castle in question on my mobile phone
Afterwards we retire to the café where we have tea and buns
If Frank has not bored me too much then we visit the gift shop
Where I buy him a fridge magnet
Which torments him as he does not own a fridge
When my shift ends I return him to the home
And leave him in the company of Precious Pearl
I do not miss Frank when he is not with me
As my cherished hobby of night fishing
Takes up the rest of my time
Paddling in Dover
As I was sad with my life
I decided to throw myself
From the Admiralty Viewing Platform
At Dover Castle
I reasoned that I would enjoy the view
If nothing else as I fell
I planned my suicide for the
28th of January at 06.00am
At 05.58 I broke from my hiding place
And as my watch touched six climbed the guard rail and jumped
As I fell both St Peter and St Paul grabbed by wrists
And guided me onto Dover Beach
Telling me to enjoy the sunrise
And that paddling
Even in the winter
Was much more fun
Rapid Thoughts in a Kent Rose Garden
Albertine Albertine walked along the unlit road
And placed flowers where the stranger had died
She had chosen red roses devoid of thorns
Fringed with pink buttercups
It was said that the stranger was a sailor
Returning to the sea
But his injuries were so severe
That his profession could not be determined
For the rest of the day
Albertine Albertine
Collected other victims of the unlit road
And buried them without ceremony
In the lush grasses of the High Lawns
Near the Hill of Dunkirk