Noah Vale was sitting in a train carriage opposite the chairman of a huge multi-nationa companyl based in the City of London

The chairman was reading Noah’s first book of poetry which was called Masturbation for Beginners

What the older man did not know was that in Noah’s brown leather briefcase were the final drafts of his latest collection of poems

This collection was to be called The Lost Art Masturbation

When the train stopped at Three Bridges railway station three nuns boarded the train

One of the nuns sat down next to Noah and asked him to sign her prayer book

Her name was Roxy

In return she gave Noah a rosary which he happily accepted

Near the entrance to Three Bridges railway station there were three advertisement boards

One advertised orange juice

The second face cream

The third advertised Noah’s first book of poetry which had recently been published

This poster had been vandalised

WANKER had been written in a black marker pen across his likeness

Two schoolboys smiled broadly as they passed the defaced poster

As the nun who called herself Roxy moved down the carriage a black marker fell from the pocket of her habit and rolled under a seat

Roxy did not notice the loss and joined the other nuns

Nobody in the carriage noticed this tiny drama

The nuns each opened a prayer book but did not audibly pray

As the train left Three Bridges Noah fell asleep and dreamt of Tasmania

The chairman of the multi-national company stole the rosary from Noah’s lap and began to pray for forgiveness

Each of the nuns now prayed for forgiveness

Their prayers although spoken were still not audible

Only God could hear their prayers

At Three Bridges railway station the vandalised poster was further defaced when a small dog with a terminal disease urinated over the likeness of Noah

The acid in the canine urine caused the ink of the marker pen to run and the previous vandalism now read WA     R

At 07.08 the following morning a woman called Judy found the black marker pen under her seat as she travelled to London

She immediately went to the toilet on the train and scrawled on the cubicle wall

Judy Is Getting Her Nipples Pierced

She then threw the black marker pen down the toilet pan and used the flush

After three attempts the pen disappeared from view

Judy returned to her seat and began to pray

The black marker pen although out of sight did not clear the trains sanitary mechanism and became lodged

It stayed in its trapped position for the next four hundred and ninety six miles until an extraordinary savage flush dislodged it

The pen now lies between the railway lines at Three Bridges railway station

It can be seen clearly from the down platform