On the day he finished writing

The Dunstan Parallel

Septimus C

Read a newspaper

That he had found on a train

The newspaper contained an advertisement for optical health

And within the advertisement

There was a hidden message

which read

ERIC FLOPPED NEAR TOPAZ

LET SPEED PACE CLIFFORD

EDWIN FUCKED ZAPATA

The message disturbed Septimus so much

That he vowed never to write again

And on that very evening

He sailed to Afrika

Never to return