Kathy lay stoned on the bed she had been motionless for over an hour. Dorset touched her foot with his pen and watched her flinch
She opened her eyes and smiled lightly and returned to her sleep
Dorset looked around the room at the posters he was designing they ranged from the ones he was designing for the arts festival to the one for a Virginia Woolf tribute band called Wet Cunt
He had been designing posters for seventeen years but had not achieved anything more than a local success
This made him bitter
He tried to become an urban artist but had been arrested on numerous occasions and was still struggling to pay his fines
Five years previously his sister Kathy had shown up at the door asking for shelter after a really bad trip
She was now living with him but was still addicted and a percentage of his meagre income was used to support her habit
Kathy was a special needs teacher and contributed part of her salary towards the flat which meant that they scraped by
He always wondered how if stoned (as she always was) she kept her job
Her answer was always the same
Their brains are far more fucked up than mine so you could teach them any shit and I take care of my colleagues you know. Men are so weak and the women know what a complete bitch I can be so they don’t touch me
Dorset felt his mobile vibrate in his pocket
Dorset
Mr Dorset
Just Dorset
Are you a poster designer ?
Yes how may I help you ?
May I come around ?
I can come to see you
No I will come around in about fifteen minutes I know where you live
Ok, what is your name ?
Mrs Vancouver
I will see you in fifteen minutes
The conversation ended and Dorset walked across to his sister and touched her on the shoulder. There was no response
He touched the sole of her foot
Fuck off Dorset I need to sleep
I have a client coming around in about fifteen minutes so it could mean special money
Kathy looked up and fell back onto her pillow
Well just don’t disturb me
About ten minutes later there was a knock on the door. Dorset opened it but nobody was there
Surprise !
A middle aged woman leapt from the lift and ran towards the open door
Mrs Vancouver ?
Yes I am Mrs Vancouver, may I come in ?
The visitor pushed past Dorset and sat on the small chair next to Kathy
Is your girlfriend dead ?
She is my sister
Is she dead ?
No just stoned
And why is she naked it is such a very cold day today
She is a teacher
Oh I see
Mrs Vancouver looked at the many tattoos that covered large parts of Kathy’s body
Did you design these ?
Yes, I always try out my poster designs on Kathy before finishing them off
Does she mind ?
Not as far as I am aware
I have a job for you I need you to find someone
I am a poster designer not a private eye
But you might want to do this
Why ?
Because there is a £1000 sitting in your bank account as we speak
How did you know my bank details ?
I am fucking the bank manager if you must know
As the middle aged woman finished her sentence Kathy stirred and rose from her bed
God I need a shit, Hi Mrs Vancouver
Hello Kathy I love the tattoos
Yeh they are nice aren’t they
Dorset watched his sister close the bathroom door and turned to his guest
You say £1000 what would you like me to do
Find my daughter she has disappeared
When did she vanish?
In 1955 in Hastings, in this very town
Dorset looked out of the window at the cold sea mist that was clouding the town
It is 2015 your daughter disappeared sixty years ago Mrs Vancouver why wait until now
I thought she would return
You waited sixty years
I waited until yesterday and rang her boyfriend as I thought she would be fucking him but she had not been seen there since 1955
Do you mind if I ask your age Mrs Vancouver
I am forty-eight but my breast is still great
Breast
Yes I have the other one removed
I am sorry
No I did not become ill it was for cosmetic purposes only
Kathy returned to the room and sat on the floor between Dorset and Mrs Vancouver
You look better now my dear, you brother is such a clever artist
Yeah yeah, I love his work, this is his latest
Kathy leaned forward and showed the early design for a poster promoting the Hastings Ale & Beer Festival which was to be held later that year
I am looking forward to seeing them displayed in the town
So am I
I have given your brother £1000 and will give him another £5000 when he finishes the job
Do you want him to design a poster for you ?
No, I want him to find my daughter
Who disappeared in 1955
Wow that’s cool man
She has been missing for sixty years Kathy
But she disappeared in Hastings my dear.I thought that she had gone to her boyfriend’s house to fuck but she did not arrive and nobody has seen her since
I have told Mrs Vancouver that I am artist who designs posters and not a private eye
We need the money Dorset you are not selling well
I tell you what you two, I will go off and make a cup of tea for everyone and let you discuss it and when I return I hope you will have reached a decision
Mrs Vancouver squeezed by the brother and sister and went into the kitchen. Dorset and Kathy looked at each other
She is nutty as a fruitcake it will be easy money
I am not a private eye
Don’t be a cunt Dorset it is easy money and we do need it
I am not sure
If you do not take this job then you will not use my body for your poster designs
I can get some else
Fuck off. Fuck you !
You only want the cash for your habit
Fuck you again, you fucking idiot !
Mrs Vancouver emerged from the kitchen carrying a tray of tea cups and chocolate biscuits which she placed on the occasional table under the window
Dorset said that he would take your job and help to find your daughter
Kathy glanced at her brother who stared at her
Mrs Vancouver opened her handbag and produced a photograph of a girl aged about thirty who was standing next to a younger looking man
That was my daughter June with her boyfriend June it was taken in the old town in 1954
Dorset took the photograph from Mrs Vancouver and looked at it. There was no way that the photograph dated from the 1950s as it had been taken recently on a digital camera
The fashions and the cars in the photograph were very contemporary and in the background he could see one of his posters
Did you say that your daughter disappeared in 1955 ?
Yes in June 1955
Where did she disappear ?
In Hastings
In which part of Hastings ?
Well her boyfriend lived in St Leonards so I would think it was on the road between Hastings and St Leonards
What was she wearing ?
I believe she was wearing a pair of crimson jeans and a white kaftan
You are not sure
No, I was in Hastings that day
Dorset looked through the window and noticed that pink snow had begun to fall giving the adjoining houses a soft pastel look
Ok I will look for your daughter but I cannot promise that I will find her as sixty years is a l long long time. She might even be dead you know
She is not dead; I have checked all the local gravestones and none carry her name
I might need expenses you know as Kathy will help me
No problem
Do you have any other details on your daughter?
Mrs Vancouver took a white envelope from the pocket of her coat and handed it to Dorset
I think you will find all that you will need to know in there
Dorset glanced into the envelope which was full of used lottery tickets
Do you mind if I use your loo as I normally masturbate at this time of day perhaps you would like to join me my dear, we could masturbate each other
Kathy looked up at the middle aged woman and rose to her feet
Yeh, that would be cool, these drugs make me so fucking horny and old misery guts there doesn’t fuck me anymore becauuuuse he is so fucking busy
As the women left the room Dorset walked towards the window and opened it. The snow had turned from pink to a bright yellow and was beginning to settle on the cliffs that overlooked the town
On an adjoining balcony an Amsterdam albatross was playing a violin. The sad eyed bird looked at Dorset
Fucked up day man
Yeah its has been a fucked up day bird
There was a cold wind blowing in off of the sea as Dorset and his sister walked along the main road to St Leonards. Dorset was wearing a thick jacket and jeans whereas Kathy was wearing crimson jeans and a white kaftan
You will catch your death in this wind
I am pretending to be Miss Canada’s daughter. She might be a fruitcake but by God she fucks well
Do you really think that by wearing her daughter’s clothes you will jog the memories of people after sixty years?
It is worth a try
You are as mad as she is
Ooh look Dorset there is one of your posters over there and somebody has drawn an erect cock onto St Teresa
Dorset stooped an elderly man
Excuse me were you here in 1955 ?
No I was in Egypt but my brother was here
Does your brother remember a girl dressed in the same clothes as my sister walking towards St Leonards?
You will have to ask him
Where does he live ?
In the local cemetery he committed suicide a few years ago. But he did write to me telling me that they were proposing to replace the platforms at the railway station at the time
Thank you
The elderly man smiled and crossed the road. As he did so he looked around at Kathy and was knocked down by a bus
I am sure he was hiding something sis
Is he dead?
I would imagine so as the bus was bombing along
I like buses that drive fast it is so exhilarating
A stray dog crossed their path
Were you here in 1955 dog ?
No
Did you see a girl dressed in the same clothes as my sister walking towards St Leonards ?
I think your sister is beautiful does she fuck dogs ?
Kathy turned around and crouched in front of the dog
I fuck most things but sadly I do not fuck dogs but I will give you a wank if you can give me any information
It is no use
Why you are a nice looking dog
I have had it cut off some fucking do-gooder nabbed me one day and took me to the vets and hey presto I have no feelings any more. All I do is walk along this road and look at the fucking sea each day
How sad
But I like watching
Do you ?
Yep, I quite often give people information and they take me home and let me watch them fucking
Do you have any information ?
Yes, the young lady in question was not walking along this road in 1955. She had no intention of visiting her boyfriend as she knew he was fucking someone else. I believe she was walking towards Rye when she disappeared
Kathy looked up at her brother who was removing the erect penis from his poster
Fucking vandals they even get the historical detail wrong. She died a virgin and that is well known fucking idiots !
Dorset, this dog has given us some useful information can he watch us fuck tonight
I am designing the bus company posters. Give him one of your saturated prayer books
Kathy took a small prayer book out of her bag and placed it in the dog’s mouth
It is me all me
The dog sniffed the book and smiled
I shall treasure it
For the rest of the day Dorset and Kathy walked around Hastings asking people if they had been in the town in 1955 and if they had not had they seen the missing girl
The brother and sister were given a variety of answers from recipes for lime jelly to long drawn out family histories
What Dorset did notice however was that the posters that he had designed for the town had been vandalised which annoyed him greatly
Erect cocks, moustaches and hairy cunts had been added to his artwork
He did not consider this vandalism to be urban art as his sister did
As the afternoon drew on Dorset noticed that his sister was beginning to get cold so he lent her his thick jacket
He later stole a fisherman’s sweater from an up market clothes shop whilst his sister pretended to faint
The vandalism of his posters was bothering Dorset as there was no reason to deface them
Other posters advertising concerts and beach parties had remained untouched
As they made their way home Kathy stopped in front of a vandalised poster advertising the local Women’s Institute Strip Spin the Bottle Evening and took a marker pen from Dorset’s coat and began to write on it
I am only but the reflection. If you do not like what you see then turn away
Dorset snatched the marker pen froim his sister
What the fuck are you doing that for ?
Urban art
Are you responsible for the vandalism it would be typical of you to find it funny ?
No, I am too stoned to do anything these days
Well just stop fucking around
I cannot help it you look so nice in that sweater that I get wet cunt just thinking about it
I am your brother
That does not bother you when you get into my bed
I have changed
Yeah
I have been reading the Bible
What the thou shall not fuck thy sister part ?
No all of it
Don’t give me that shit Dorset you cannot keep your hands off of me
Think sis when was it when we last really fucked ?
Kathy went quiet and said nothing for a while. As they were passing a fish and chip shop she tugged at her brother sleeve
As you don’t want to fuck me would you mind buying me some fish and chip at least as I have the munchies
Leaving his sister outside Dorset went into the shop and purchased two portions of fish and chips
They sat on a bench facing the sea. Above them a huge red ball had formed in the sky as if the world was going to end that evening
Do you know that if I went to the cops and said that you were taking advantage of your junkie sister they might be interested
They would not give a fuck
Wrong brother you know what cunts they are today. Look at the shit you got into with your so called urban art
Fuck you
I would never go to them you know. Who else would inject me when I am too fucked to do it myself ?
The pair said nothing more and after they finished their meal walked slowly back to the flat
The huge red ball in the sky had now disappeared and had been replaced by several levels of angels singing in unison
Or so it seemed to Dorset
Later that evening Dorset sat at his artists table and was busy designing a new poster for an event in nearby Bexhill
He had injected Kathy and she lay in the armchair opposite him
Did I tell you of the time I was fucked by a whole chapter of Hell’s Angels ?
Yes
It’s a fucking lie I have never been fucked by a Hell’s Angel
I know
You know I was thinking that it might have been a Hell’s Angel who kidnapped Mrs Vancouver’s daughter in 1955
Kathy said little else that made sense as her hit began to take hold. Dorset looked at the blank wall behind his sister and waited for her first trip
Nothing that made sense occurred for the first five or so minutes until an image of Kathy sitting in an aircraft began to take shape
He was worried for his sister as he knew that she hated flying
Kathy was travelling from London to Paris to attend a teaching conference and had planned to go by train but there had been problems in the tunnel and she was forced to fly
She looked smart in her dark blue business suit but sat hunched in her seat with her eyes closed. He knew that she would try to sleep during the journey
Kathy was awoken the sound of the branches of a tree hitting the plane. There was a light jolt and when she looked out of the window she could see that the plane had landed in the middle of a forest
With difficulty she clambered out of the stricken plane.The captain was lining the passengers and crew up and was taking a head count
Ten minutes later he announced that all were present and correct and that they had crashed in a forest to the north of Paris but as this was a dream no-one knew of their plight
The Kathy on the wall looked towards the Kathy in the chair and mouthed help but the Kathy in the chair did nothing
As Kathy was pleading to her sister to end the trip a man in a thick winters coat came up to his sister and spoke to her
Dorset could not make out the conversation but Kathy smiled and kissed the stranger lightly on the cheek and as this happened the image faded from the wall
His sister suddenly opened her eyes and stared at Dorset
Mr Philby has helped me
What do you mean?
He knows what happened to June
How?
He was in Hastings in 1955
As she said this Kathy fell back into unconsciousness but the wall remained blank save for some odd images and colours none of which meant much
Leaving his sister sleeping Dorset left the flat and broke into the nearby library. He was looking for a book on Kim Philby
He had cloned his sister to help him
Dorset did not clone his sister often as he could not dispense with them after use and often saw the clones of his sister walking around Hastings looking lost
In time he knew that they would fade but he had no influence on this procedure
Have you found anything yet ?
No
Where are you looking ?
In the natural history section
The book will not be in that section
But it is very interesting
Both Dorset and Clone Kathy froze as a torch shone through the door
Fuck these security guards
Shh
I have found it
The Kim Philby book ?
Yes
Well bring it over here
Will you be nice to uncloned Kathy ?
I am always nice to Kathy
Will you fuck her again ?
I have explained that to her I have found God
That’s shit you do not find her attractive as she is a junkie
Are you going to give me the book ?
I might just give it to the security guard
Fuck you
All I need to do is walk out into the light
Ok, ok I will be nice to Kathy but please give me the book
Clone Kathy knelt down and slid the book along the floor towards Dorset
Thank you
Am I free to go now ?
Yes but just do not make a noise
When Dorset returned to the flat his sister was in exactly the same position as he had left her
She was still tripping and all kinds of jumbled images were dancing on the wall
Dorset sat on the chair next to her and began to read the book
Several hours passed and Kathy had begun to settle down, she was sleeping now so Dorset placed a blanket over her
A steel blue light was breaking through the window when Dorset reached the chapter that interested him
Philby had been in Hastings in 1955 and was visiting a sleeper in the town
He had arranged to meet the woman on the bench by the upper entrance to the cliff railway
But she had not shown up
The British Secret Service had got wind of the meeting and were following the woman. She was aware of this and had led the agents on a merry dance around the town
Philby had smelt a rat and had visited an old school friend in Bexhill and returned to London the following morning
The woman knew that the spy catchers would lose interest in her as soon as Philby left Hastings and a week later took up her position on the bench near the upper entrance of the cliff railway
She has been there ever since waiting for Philby in case he returned
Dorset looked up and his sister was standing up
I thought you would be out for days
No I did not take a heavy hit
I saw your trip
The air crash ?
That was unusual for you as you tend to like my pornographic ones
Did you meet Philby during your trip ?
Yep
And what did he tell you ?
Wouldn’t you like to know ?
Don’t fuck about Kathy
Fuck me and I will tell you, fuck your faith, fuck me I am your sister
This could mean a lot of money to us
Kathy walked towards Dorset and took his hand
Fuck me like you used to and I will tell you everything
Dorset showered and was dressed by the time the quiet winters light had grown over the town
Kathy had told him everything as they lay in bed after fucking
It was imperative that he went to the bench near the upper entrance of the cliff railway where he hoped to find the woman
Kathy was still sleepy as his pulled her into the shower
Get cleaned up I want to be ready before nine
Are you going to wash my back ?
Stop fucking about Kathy and get a move on
There was not a direct view of the cliff railway from the flat that Dorset shared with his sister but he could see the cliffs that stretched towards Rye
The Amsterdam albatross was not playing the violin on the balcony when Dorset opened his window
You are near the conclusion of this mystery you know
Would you like to read a book on Kim Philby ?
That would make a change from playing the violin
Dorset handed the book to the bird who started reading it
Good luck bird I know that you will not be here when I return
Adios
Dorset and his sister walked towards the cliff railway which was closed due to the early hour. They climbed the steps that lay next to the railway with difficulty as they were still exhausted from the previous night
When they achieved the summit they saw an old woman with long matted hair and ragged clothes
Dorset could see that she had once been beautiful but had aged badly
A packet of cigarettes and a bottle of gin lay on the seat next to her
Kathy took a swig from the bottle
That is good, very good
I still have admirers
Kathy took a cigarette from the damp packet and lit it
You have been here since 1955 haven’t you on this very same bench waiting for Philby
You have come about my daughter
Yes
Has she paid you to find June ?
Before Kathy could answer Mrs Vancouver appeared from the steps
The old woman looked around as Kathy kissed her fuck love on the cheek
Will you fuck me with a dildo later ?
Of course my love it is in the car over there
Dorset had had enough and grabbed his sister
How much do you actually know about this Kathy ?
Everything
What do you mean ?
Do you think that I was a simple teacher of dumb kids who had a habit and liked fucking around ?
Then who are you ?
I am Kathy your sister and yes I have a bad habit but I also work for British Intelligence
Fuck off you are an acid head
Some of the time yes but when I am not with you I head off for London and leave you to design your posters
The old woman suddenly pulled a gun and held it loosely in her hand. Mrs Vancouver pulled Kathy from the line of fire leaving Dorset in range
Come on Svetlana it is all over now Philby died many years ago and will not be meeting you. If you shoot any of us how do you know we are not just clones ?
Bullets do not harm clones
Never
Never Svetlana
The old woman looked at Mrs Vancouver and Kathy and Dorset in turn and placed the gun in her mouth and pulled the trigger
Dorset had expected to see the woman’s brains explode out of the back of her head but only a small amount of dust shifted and was soon lost in the early morning breeze
Come on Svetlana don’t play that old trick again it does not work any more
She is my daughter you know and she is not forty-eight or whatever age she says she is. She was born in Russia in 1953 the year Stalin died. There was no disappearance in 1955 she has been stringing you along and as far as I know she has both breasts
She does have both breasts don’t you Mrs Vancouver they were there the last time we fucked
And the will be there later when I fuck you again
Kathy smiled again at Mrs Vancouver
Dorset nervous that the gun was again pointing at him looked at the three women
I have totally lost this why did you pay me money when you knew your mother was here all the time. She has been here for the last sixty years for fucks sake. Why are giving me all this money to state the fucking obvious ?
Kathy looked at her brother and walked across and took his hand
It was to test your faith my love
What !
You are a good man
As his sister said this Dorset suddenly became aware of the doors of the cliff railway opening. The first climb of the day was complete
A man glowing dressed in white robes stepped from the carriage and walked towards the trio
I think we have a situation here
Who are you ?
Who do you think I am ?
The Son of God, you are the Son of God
Yes, I am the Son of God and I must say I like Hastings it is brash but still retains its old world charm
Why have you come here am I to die and you are here to take me away ?
No, no, no nothing like that it is we do have enormous difficulty getting good poster designers for the church so I contacted British Intelligence
He came to me during one of my trips
It is a good job well paid and you get to travel the world
But I am a sinner I have fucked my junkie sister for the last five years and have turned a blind eye to her promiscuity and lesbian affairs
Yes, I had to pull a few strings but I the followed the wisdom of my choice and if you want it is yours
What about Kathy she is sure to overdose sometime in the future
She will not it is not her time yet but it is yours Svetlana, you have been such a loyal comrade all these years.It is time for you to rest
The old woman stood up and handed Jesus the gun who threw it into the low cloud that was gripping the cliffs
It did not return
She walked across to her daughter and kissed her on the cheek
Goodbye June
Goodbye Mum
The old woman then walked towards Dorset and Kathy
Thank you for finding me
Christ pointed towards the open carriage and the old woman walked slowly towards the doors
I will not be long Svetlana just sit down and make yourself comfortable
Jesus then beckoned Kathy and Dorset towards him
They both knelt in front of him
Get up you two there is no ceremony when I am around. To you first Dorset as you have proved yourself as a sinner who has repented you have employment with my blessing. Mrs Vancouver has all the details and you will be able to move out of that poky flat of yours
Where to ?
There is a very large building opposite my beloved Pugin’s house in Ramsgate I think that will suit your needs
But what about Kathy ?
She will live with Mrs Vancouver who will attend to her comfort Believe me she has many many years ahead of her
Christ placed his hand on both Dorset and Kathy’s shoulders and smiled at Mrs Vancouver
The carriage of the cliff railway had begun to glow
I do wish we would not have all these pyrotechnics each time I visit earth it is so ceremonial
The trio watched as the Son of God entered the carriage and with a wave he was out of sight
Kathy picked up the old woman’s gin and took another swig
Her brother glared at her
It seems a shame to waste it. Do you want a swig ?
I am working for Christ now
So am I
Dorset looked at Mrs Vancouver with surprise
With your lifestyle ?
Christ forgives, he has forgiven you
Kathy took the hand of Mrs Vancouver and they turned and began to descend the long steps towards the beach road
Dorset stood still and looked at the cliff railway
A seagull had settled on the roof of the upper entrance
I vandalised your posters Dorset just in case you thought otherwise
I had a feeling that it was the work of a seagull
Why ?
Wanker is spelt with only one k and St Teresa as I have noted died a virgin
The bird smiled at Dorset who acknowledged the humour as he to began to follow his sister and her lover down the steps that led towards the sea