An airport was built on the marshlands of my county with its two main runways leading out to sea

What sets this airport apart from others is that between the runways there are five churches only four hundred and ninety six yards apart

Each month my wife and I break into the airport so that we may worship at each of these churches in turn

This satisfies our deep love of God as well as my passion for plane spotting

We always worship naked in the third church which is called St Peter in the Marshes having forsaken our worldly goods in the porch

It was here last week that I noticed that my wife had shaved her pubic hair into the shape of a heart

When I asked her why she said it was her Homage to Mary Quant

I did not answer at the time and only replied when we were in the fifth church where I added that it would have been a lot less painful but possibly more expensive to have visited the retro shop in our town and to have purchased one of the designer’s dresses