Richard and Agnes were leaving Pompeii when Agnes noticed a large bush which was decorated with tiny pink flowers

This is the prettiest bush I have seen in Pompeii today

I fear it is the only one as it is usually native to Britain

Is it poisonous?

I do not know but I would not touch the flowers

I could just eat the flowers

That is the danger of seduction

 

Later that day Agnes was relaxing in the bath in their hotel suite

Richard was leaning against the pale blue sink carving a bar of soap into the impression of a mermaid

His wife was reading from her guidebook purchased during their trip to Pompeii

This is the section about bathing which you might find interesting

Go ahead

Further up the road are Stabian Baths. There were three public baths in Pompeii and three private ones of which the Stabian Baths were the largest of all. They were a great asset in social life and are in good condition though they have no great ornamentations like the ones in Rome

I thought they were fine even in ruin

The ladies had a separate part although mixed bathing was certainly allowed as there was no law forbidding it until Emperor Hadrian’s time

Sounds fun I did not realise that the Roman were such a liberal bunch

But catch this

There were two sets of baths with the heating apparatus in the middle for space and economy’s sake

Do you know the Italians really excel with their soaps this lavender soap is exquisite

Richard threw the soap into the bath in to a space created by Agnes near the taps

It landed without ceremony and sank

In the entrance to the ladies sides was a painting of a temple with serpents to warn off any intruders of the male sex

Am I an intruder?

Yes you are piss off a girl is entitled to her privacy

I will take your clothes and throw them out of the window on to the street below and you will have to retrieve them naked in the full view of any passing men

Dare you

Richard picked up his wife’s clothes and secreted them on the balcony. He hung her underwear casually on the flag pole which projected from the wall of the hotel next to their rooms

Agnes watched him from her bath

Bastard

Coffee in five

Ten

Five

Fuck you

Five

Five

 

When dry Agnes retrieved her clothes from the balcony but left her underwear attached to the flag pole

Her coffee was awaiting her on the low table

A warm breeze was tormenting her refreshment and she watched the exhibition for a while

Richard was sitting on a chair next to the widow and was reading a cheap and battered paperback

What are you reading?

It is called The Vampires of Venice and is an account of the eruptions of Vesuvius in antiquity

That sounds interesting       

It also discusses more recent eruptions and the one which will flatten Pompeii and the surrounding areas in seventy years’ time

Are you saying that this hotel and those splendid ruins will be buried once more?

Yes this whole area will fall victim to pyroclastic flows and the like and nothing will exist after this next eruption

How dreadful so many will die

No-one will die

If the eruption is as you have described how will anything survive?

The author has stated that not one creature will die not even the humblest lizard

Surely if the pyroclastic flow does not finish everybody off then the molten lava will destroy everything in its path

It will be the most cataclysmic eruption in modern times but nothing will die

Is that because of better early warning systems?

No

You are teasing me

I am not

Well what is the big secret then?

Read the book

I am too tired to read it do read it to me

No you will have to read the book chapter six dealing with the motives of the blond serial killer

Serial killer?

Yes it is a very enlightening read

 

A month later a man walking on the slopes of the volcano came across an item of woman’s underwear

He knew the owner to be English and vowed to return the lost article of clothing to its rightful owner