Steve was in bed with Jane

The were watching Real Madrid playing Barcelona

Real Madrid were winning by two goals to nil

During the night Steve raked his studs down Jane’s shin

And received a straight red card

Jane was so disgusted with the tackle

That she demanded a transfer to Las Palmas

A few weeks later whilst on holiday

He dreamt that Charles Bronson

Was playing in goal for Manchester City

He recounted his dream to his wife

Whilst rubbing sun oil on to her slender shoulders