Pauline was walking on the beach
She had collected many shells and marvelled at the beauty of each
DJ MotherFuckerKool was watching her from the promenade
Why was she arguing with God?
Were the shells on Margate beach not the most beautiful in the whole of Kent?
Pauline looked at the DJ and wondered how he had retained his faith whereas she had lost hers
In a few hours he would be attending church
Two naked nuns were bathing in the shallows
Pauline paid little notice
I say Sister is the water not divine today?
It is the Holy See Sister
Both nuns laughed loudly
Pauline kept a straight face although she saw the DJ smiling
The Lord is not slack concerning his promise!
For an instant Pauline felt anger
DJ MotherFuckerKool stopped smiling
The Lord arranged your passage to Margate
Without him you are nothing
Keep calm Sister your anger will pass
It has passed
It has passed
I apologise for my grievance
The naked nuns had swum out to a fishing boat
Pauline felt completely alone
Come DJ
Letter us collect shells together once more
Katie Pretty and Tom were in the art gallery near the beach
An exhibition of the work of Pierre Puvis de Chavannes was being held
The event was the talk of Margate as due to an administrative error only one painting was on show
It was called
The Poor Fisherman
You see the fish stocks have dried up
How will he feed his family?
He has a Christ-Like presence
He is a she
Sorry
He is a she
What do you mean Tom?
The figure that you see standing in the boat is a woman
Without breasts
She has breasts
And a beard
Since when have women had beards?
She is a Sworn Virgin
A what?
A Sworn Virgin
A Virgina if you like
Explain yourself Tom
In Montenegro and other parts of the Balkans woman are sometimes expected to live as men to continue the family name
What about her brothers?
What happens if the brothers are dead?
Then she is expected to act as the head of the family
She will do the masculine jobs
Woodcutting
Farming
Fishing
So what would she do for sex?
She would be expected to remain celibate like a nun
Hence the name
The two nuns reached the fishing boat
A lonely fisherman was hauling in a brittle net
Come aboard sweet sisters help me with my nets
But we are naked
You will see our breasts
I too am a woman
But you are a fisherman
The fisherman removed her ragged shirt
See sisters I am like you
Help me with my nets and we will share my catch
Geraldine returned from the shop of curiosities
She was holding a small green book
Angela smiled
What do you have in your hands beautiful Geraldine?
It is a book of poems
Poems by Robert Browning
I like Browning although I prefer Elizabeth’s work
Browning is agreeable but what is interesting is what I found in the book
Pray tell
Let us share a coffee and you can describe your find
Geraldine and Angela sat on iron chairs at an iron table in front of the Turner Café
Angela looked at Geraldine as she fiddled in her bag for her glasses
How she longed to hold her friend in her arms
And read Coleridge to her
Well what did you find?
I did not see it straight away
See what?
Geraldine handed Angela two sheets of thin paper
I found this
It appears to refer to a girl who lived one hundred years ago
In Folkestone
Is it modern?
I cannot tell
Has it an author?
Not that I can see
The only reference to the author is at the end of the notes
Song Thrush (1958)
As mysterious as the bird itself
A Kentish Girl (Fragments)
Anglo-Continental College
Folkestone
House Prize
Kathleen Bingham
Easter 1914
I wonder who you were Kathleen
Were you pretty
Or were you plain
Did your mother come from Spain?
A hundred years have passed since you were presented with your book
Poems by Robert Browning
PIPPA PASSES
New Year’s Day
A large mean airy chamber
A girl PIPPA from the silk mills
Springing out of her bed
I wonder if you read this work
Did you imagine yourself as PIPPA?
Were there silk mills in your town?
You have known two wars
I have experienced none
Did you remain in Kent?
It is such of beautiful county
I am in Folkestone frequently
The town has not changed much
But the Anglo-Continental College is no more
However you would recognise the town
There is even a mermaid on the beach
Near the railway on the harbour arm
Kentish Sir Byng stood for his King
Let us sing
Let us sing
Let us sing
Today I walked along the Pilgrims Way
With my dog for company for much of the way
From this rare vantage we saw its splendid towers
Through the trees and the summer flowers
These are just fragments of Kentish poetry collected over the years
There are more lines lost
Than I have ever found
Sound Sound Margate Sound
Song Thrush (1958)
Pauline was sitting on the beach
She had collected a bag of shells
The two nuns were sitting beside her
The DJ has said that you have lost your faith my child
That is true I have lost my faith
They watched the DJ wandered along the beach
He was collecting shells
Shells are the jewels of the angels you know
What is your name?
My name is Pauline
How did you meet DJ MotherFuckerKool?
I grew up with him on a rough estate in South London
He looked after me
He kept me off of drugs and made sure that I did not sink in the mire that surrounded me
How old were you when he first fucked you?
He has never fucked me
Never?
We live together but we have separate rooms
He averts his gaze if I am in a stare of undress
He is indeed a saint for you are such a pretty thing Pauline
Would you like to fuck him Pauline?
Would you?
Of course if Sister Ruth and I have not taken a vow of chastity then we would invite him into our bed every night
The poor man would be exhausted
No one should not fuck a saint Sister
I have fantasies about the saints and I expect that Sister Clodagh has them too
Oh yes St Mark is my favourite
Mine is Saint Teresa
May we look at your shells?
Do you know their names?
This one is an Apple Murex
And this one
A Lettered Olive
I think this one is beautiful
It is a Junonia
And this is an Atlantic Bubble
You see my child you have not lost your faith
God has given you these shells
You know their names
Then why do I fell so alone?
Because you are in love
I am not in love
Who should I love?
The DJ
What nonsense!
Both nuns looked at Pauline
They stood up and walked in the direction of the fishing boat
As they went Pauline noticed that they both had tattoos on their bottoms
I say may I look at your tattoos
The nuns stopped and Pauline knelt down
The tattoos were identical
Today I met Matthew G Lewis
An interesting fellow
Full of youth
But not very mellow
The nuns left Pauline and were soon swimming towards the fishing boat which now had not one but two sworn virgins dealing with its meagre catch
Pauline wandered towards the DJ
He was still collecting shells
See I have found a True Tulip for you
They are becoming increasingly rare
The DJ sat in the damp sand and spread the shells out
There are twenty-eight different types of shells here Pauline all individual all very beautiful
They are God’s gift to us
There is no God
If that is what you think then who am I to argue?
Pauline sat in the sand opposite the DJ
Do you ever think about me?
I think about you all the time
I mean do you think about my body
I never think about your body
Do you not think about my breasts?
Do you not think about my cunt?
Or my underarm hair?
Do you want to fuck me when I walk around naked?
Or am topless on the beach?
Why do you avert your eyes when I am naked in our home?
Are you queer?
Homosexuality is a sin against God
You know that
The nuns are homosexual
Then they will be punished
Angela is homosexual
She will shortly entice soft Geraldine into her bed and read Coleridge to her
Then she will be punished
Do you not like me?
Do you not find me beautiful?
You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen
I love you with all my heart
Then why do you not desire me?
Why do you not want to hold me naked in your arms?
You have so much growing to do Pauline
Fuck you DJ!
ALL THIS COOL MOTHERFUCKER SHIT!
HARD GANGSTA DJ!
YOUR ARE JUST A CUNT!
ALL YOUR GROUPIES WORSHIP YOU!
BUT YOU ARE JUST A CUNT!
EVERYBODY CAN SEE THROUGH YOU!
FUCK YOU DJ!
FUCK YOU!
Pauline burst into tears an ran to a nearby rock
As she did so she removed her panties and threw them at the DJ
SMELL ME DJ!
LICK THEM!
TASTE A REAL WOMAN!
YOU ARE VERMIN DJ!
In the art gallery Pretty and Tom were staring at the Margate Sea through the large window
Katie was sharing a coffee with an Algerian
She had found the love of her life
I fear that we will be travelling to the Maghreb quite soon
Katie is in love
I am going to Japan
I am in love
What is his name?
I am not in love with a man or a woman but a nation
You are in love with Japan?
Correct
When are you leaving?
I am at the airport now
Goodbye Pretty have a safe flight
Tom placed his mobile on Pretty’s book
Tender is the Night
By F Scott Fitzgerald
He looked at the sea
And wondered of the special light
He felt he was the luckiest man in the world
But he was so alone
Pauline was standing on the beach looking at the town
She loved Margate
And she knew that the town loved her
Lift your foot up Pauline
She looked down and saw the DJ
He was kneeling at her feet
Lift your foot up Pauline I need to dress you
Slowly the DJ pulled up Pauline’s summer dress
He was staring at her pubic hairs
You are so beautiful Pauline
Kiss my cunt DJ
Kiss my cunt
I cannot
Just once
Please
The DJ kissed Pauline’s pubic hairs lightly
Forgive me Lord for I have sinned
Why are you requesting forgiveness?
A tear ran from the DJs large brown eye
You have not guessed the reason have you Pauline?
Guessed what?
That you are my mother
What!
You are my mother
But you are older than me
And I am a virgin
You looked after me through those rough years
You are a beautiful Negro and I am a pale white girl
How could I be your mother?
God moves in mysterious ways
There is no God
Oh yes there is
How do you know?
Because I am his only son
His only son?
Christ was crucified over two thousand years ago
He is dead
God is dead
Nietzsche?
The DJ smiled at Pauline and let the hem on her summer dress fall loosely
He could taste her wetness on his dry lips
I think he said that
Poor Nietzsche
I have always felt sorry for the horse
They both laughed
So you are the second Christ
No I am the first one
Why are there not millions of pilgrims flocking around you?
Why should there be?
So I am your mother
Yes
Then why did you kiss my cunt
You can taste me on your lips
My father will understand
God always understands
You said he would punish homosexuals
He loves homosexuals
You see that room in the blue building over there?
Which room?
The first floor room above the pizza parlour
Yes
Well Angela and Geraldine are there laying naked on a bed reading Coleridge to each other
Have they had sex?
They will do
Then what about Tom he is so lonely now that Pretty has gone to Japan and Katie is in love
I have plans for Tom
So Christ has returned?
Yes
And is called DJ MotherFucker Kool?
Yes
A cool dude who wets the cunts of all the women who meet him
Even the lesbians
Even the lesbians
It is a new form of worship Pauline
If I just showed up then I would not last five minutes
Some psycho would most probably shoot me within a week
And you would forgive them?
Yes it would be a bit of a pisser but I would forgive the psycho
So this is Christ in 2016?
The new religion
Hip Hop
Rap
Rap Rave
Music is the new religion
God loves Rap
God loves Hip Hop
God Loves music
But what about me?
I have witnessed your little tricks over the years Pauline
Walking naked past me in God’s house on the Sabbath
He was not pleased with you
Showering in front of me
Watching TV in the nude
I only watched Songs of Praise without clothes
Just to piss you off
I wanted you to notice me
God was not pleased with you
Sunbathing topless on this very beach
The list is endless
You have sinned
Sunbathing is not a sin
It is a freedom
But God has forgiven you
God always forgives
Are you going to ignore me?
Do you believe in God?
It seems that I do
Are you not lonely DJ?
Are you not lonely Pauline?
I have my shells
Then may I have my panties?
No
I am your mother
Only in God’s eyes are you my mother
Nobody else is aware of this fact
Let us swim then
Pauline removed her summer dress and ran into the sea
I am swimming to the fisherman’s boat
Come on DJ
Pauline was sitting in the fishing boat with Sister Ruth and Sister Clodagh
The sworn virgins were swimming in the sea
They all watched as the DJ hauled himself into the fishing boat
My what a beautiful man
Beauty is everything
As the DJ stood dripping in the boat Pauline noticed that he had a faded tattoo on his muscular bottom
It read
Today I met Matthew G Lewis
An interesting fellow
Full of youth
But not very mellow
Tom was walking along the promenade
He loved Margate
But he felt so lonely
Pauline quietly approached him
She was barefoot
Pauline did not own shoes
She did not care for shoes or sandals
I hope that you do not mind me stopping you Tom but I have misplaced my panties
Would you help me find them?
I think that the Son of God might have kept them
But we can always pop into Primark and purchase another pair for you
I have no money on me
My treat
Then when I am flush with cash
I shall pay for our coffee at the Turner Cafe
I did not see them pass me
As I was reading a Fitzgerald novel that had been left on my bench
The bench that had been erected in my memory
A free book
I have always liked free books
I have always adored
Tender is the Night
By F Scott Fitzgerald