When my nieces and nephews were young we often played a game when driving either to Norwich or to Warwick
The game was simple, the first person to see an Eddie Stobart lorry scored a point and the person with the most points at the end of the journey was the winner
It was easy even I understood the rules
But what I did not allow for was that I would become addicted
I thought I could control the habit but it spiralled out of control and if I do not see an Eddie Stobart for any length of time I began to shake
I can clearly remember my last sighting on the 12th of September this year or the two Eddie Stobart’s I saw in Devizes on my birthday a couple of years ago
I am beyond any help and have tried to wean myself off by becoming a train spotter and collecting car number plates but my case is beyond that
But who is Eddie Stobart or what is Eddie Stobart?
Well simply it is a haulage company based I believe in Cumbria
Their lorries are very distinctive and striking being painted in a Post Office Red and a Brunswick Green
There drivers are smartly dressed and as far as I can see careful drivers
There trucks in the main are given female names
I suggested this to my wife but she was not impressed
May I sit here?
I looked up and saw a rather tall woman standing in front of me
She was dressed in what appeared to be a silver suit
Of course
The services gets so crowded at this time of day
This station always seems to be grounded
What are you writing?
I am writing about Eddie Stobart
Eddie Stobart?
Yes it is a haulage company if you look over there you can see one of their trucks
Oh yes they are very smart
Are you a writer?
No I just scribble
My name is Jena what is yours?
Stephen
Do you have another name?
Masefield
I do not have a second name my name is just Jena
I looked at the woman’s silver suit which was reflecting the artificial light of the cafe
Are you in fashion?
Why do you ask?
Because your suit is very fashionable almost punk in appearance
No I have to wear this suit when I am travelling
Where are you headed?
Nowhere in particular
And you?
Milton Keynes I am meeting an Eddie Stobart driver there and he is going to let me take photographs of his truck
There is one over there
I have already photographed it
It’s strange but the driver said that he was leaving at ten past and it is now nearly twenty past
He is most probably speaking to his depot
Maybe
I travelled in the cab of an Eddie Stobart truck last week
That was against the rules
The driver took pity on me
What did you think of the truck?
Very smart and the driver was courteous unlike other drivers
Have you been attacked?
No
It is not a good idea to hitch lifts you know
It is one of the two ways I travel
What is the other?
In my spaceship
The woman smiled
I would invite you aboard my ship but you are not a truck driver
Does that matter?
Yes it does
So you only invite truck drivers aboard your spaceship
Correct
Why only truck drivers?
So I can breed with them
Breed with them
To replenish my race which is dying
Really
You do not believe me
Yes I do
What happens to the drivers?
The woman looked at me and laughed
You are kidding me
No it was a sensible question
Well I eat them of course
That is why I need endless cups of coffee
Is that what happened to the driver of the truck over there
The Eddie Stobart?
Yes the only ones I do not mate with are the infected ones
What do you do with them?
I release them
But what happens if they come forward
They will not remember anything as you will not remember this conversation
The woman in the silver suit stood up and walked towards the automatic doors
She did not turn
I have just met a woman from outer space who seduces only truck drivers and then eats them
No this sounds too silly
I have just met the oddest woman who said that she was from outer space and that she seduces and consumes truck drivers
I think that she is a little mad
But then again we all are
In ten minutes I will be driving to Milton Keynes to meet Edward
Reminder to self
This might make a good short story
It is not Slaughterhouse 5 but interesting nonetheless
It was raining as I crossed the car park to my car
As I opened the door I noticed that in the distance the Eddie Stobart was still parked next to toilets
It was due to have left for Worcester over two hours ago
I wonder if it has suffered mechanical difficulties