Swedish Masculine


Run Anais run

I said as I sat on the wooden bench in the sauna

Whatever for I am enjoying the heat

And it is so cold outside

The mythical monsters

The mythical monsters have invaded this sauna

It is snowing outside

Roll in the snow and cool down

You have become overheated

And leave you here with the mythical monsters

Go Peter go

Run Anais

Run Anais

Run Anais

 

We were driving through the cornfields near the coast

Although we could not see the sea

Its reflection danced in the clouds

The effect was soothing

Although Anais had been consumed by the mythical monsters of the sauna

She was still sitting next to me eating boiled sweets

Her skin was flawless

Mine was not

My pores were beginning to become blocked

Sores would appear

I would resemble a pizza

People would be cruel

Not if you go to the beach with me Peter

The sun and the sea will help your skin

And there are no mythical monsters

Just over an hour later we were on the beach at Kyrastadd

It was more crowded than usual owing to the warmth of the season

But was nonetheless relaxed

I greeted the mayor and his wife

And later his mistress

Our doctor and his daughter were also there

As well as my brother’s sister

We sat alone near the rocks at the end of the beach

Come in Peter the waters warm

That is unusual for this time of year

Fool it is always warm at this time of the year

I joined my sister in the clear waters that led to the Murnow Delta

A northerly mermaid appeared

What brings you this far north mermaid?

My name is Lola

But just call me Lola

Join me on the rocks in half a day and I shall tell you

 

As we returned to our home through the ripening cornfields

I pondered on what the mermaid had told me

Mermaids cannot take saunas

They are too dry and could corrode their scales

But mythical monsters no

If they did exist then would they not be in the sea

Because that is where life started and where it is likely to end

That evening I sat in the sauna with my other sister

I felt confident

So I invited all my sisters

The mermaid was correct

No mythical monsters appeared

There are no mythical monsters

I said gleefully to Nysee

There are but you cannot see them

She said to me

A few days later I was sunning myself on the rocks near the delta

When Lola appeared

Her back was bleeding

She explained that she had been attacked the previous evening

Whilst strolling along a beach

Do not worry the local toughies caught and lynched my attacker

I cleaned her wound and called for assistance from my sisters

Soon she was tucked safely in bed

In the hotel that my family owned

 

That evening I went to the beach and found the corpse of the attacker dangling from a tree

Fearing contamination I doused the corpse with petrol

And set the tree alight

I did not recognise the attacker

His origins were not local and I wondered what had caused him to attack a beautiful mermaid

As the fire consumed him he opened one eye and said

It was not me but the mythical monsters

But I gladly took the blame as I admire them so  

I waited until the attacker and the tree were piles of charred ash

My sister appeared

You are such a good man Peter so caring

It was the least I could do

He was a human being and had once been loved by others

She kissed me on the cheek and then ran down to water’s edge

Are you going to swim?

I might

Then be careful of the mythical monsters

I watched as my sister swam for an hour

Later we sat next to each other

And she warmed herself by the small fire

Just before dusk Lola joined us

She had fully recovered

She stared at the ashes of her assailant

I would like you to smother me in his ashes

Why?

No reason I just wanted to be close to him as he took my virginity

I had hoped that you would but this misguided man bloodied me

Nely and I smothered the mermaid in her assailants ashes and carried her to the sea as her land legs had grown weary

I will be back quite soon

Thank you for your love

I will not forget you

 

A week later I was again in the sauna with five of my sisters

The other twenty-three were in the hotel laying tiles

In time for the winter season

Betti my eldest and largest sister was sitting opposite me

She had once been a mermaid

But had opted for work in the hotel

I watched as she rubbed the impurities from her skin using a rough cloth

This is one of the problems of being fat

Impurities become hidden between your folds of skin

But at least the mythical monsters will not attack you

There are no mythical monsters Peter

Then why has Lola not returned?

I saw her on the beach yesterday

She is heavy with child

Her attacker’s child?

Possibly

 

That evening I constructed a time machine in the sauna

And travelled back six years

I found Lola’s attacker quite easily in the backstreets of the main city

At the end of the railway

I had travelled with a mythical monster

Who on my command ripped the poor man apart in a parking lot

In my haste to return to the present

I left the mythical monster

At the scene of our crime

This haunted me

As I knew that the mythical monster would want revenge

The following day I met the mermaid on the beach and told her what I had done

She insisted that I returned to the hotel and wait for her

At four in the afternoon she entered my room

And we made love watched by eight of my sisters

But I did not impregnate her as she was barren

I knew the reason why but was scared to return to the parking lot

As I knew that the mythical monster would be waiting for me

So I did nothing and watched as Lola grew more and more beautiful

Mermaids do not age as we do but on the appointed day just fade

When they reach the height of their beauty

I had to act but was a coward

Run Anais run

I said as I sat on the wooden bench in the sauna

Whatever for I am enjoying the heat

And it is so cold outside

The mythical monsters

The mythical monsters have invaded this sauna

It is snowing outside

Roll in the snow and cool down

You have become overheated

And leave you here with the mythical monsters

Go Peter go

Run Anais

Run Anais

Run Anais

My smallest sister left the sauna and rolled in the snow

She knew what I was about to do

Within seconds I was in the parking lot

The remains of Lola’s attacker were scattered everywhere and were putrefying

The mythical monster stared at me

So you have returned

I had to as Lola does not have long left

You left me here scattered all over the parking lot

You attacked the mermaid and now she is barren

Do I care?

You should

Why?

Like my sisters mermaids are beautiful and should be cherished

Your sisters found me and strung me up

There are no toughies in your town

I know why do you think I burnt the corpse?

Take me back with you otherwise your mermaid will die

I cannot

You are terrified of me

I am aware of that

You cannot sit in a sauna or participate in any nature of recreation without thinking about me

I know

You are weak

And so are you

The mythical monster clawed my shoulder drawing blood

I retreated back into the time machine and began weeping

I was terrified and crouched behind the stove

Here take this

I was handed a crossbow

Run towards the mythical monster firing at will

I will be ripped to pieces

Not if you fire accurately and frequently

I ran forward towards the mythical monster firing bolts from the crossbow

At first nothing happened but slowly my enemy began to hollow

As my final bolt wrecked its eye I saw it fall

 

I lay in bed with four of my sisters

They were feeding me

I looked at my body

The scars had retreated

In a day we will return you to the beach and you will sit on the rocks with Lola

She is still barren but her beauty has stopped

Anais was sitting on a chair by the window

It was raining outside

The season was coming to an end

But what of the season

You roll in the snow as we all do

The season is of no consideration

 

The following day I waited for Lola on the rocks by the delta

She did not appear

I visited the same group of rocks each day for a year

But she never came back

Another mermaid told me she had died as she was unable to cope with the loss of her beauty and because she was barren

I knew this to be true as each of my sisters had grown scales

Small in number

In the area of their back

Near the pelvis

I frequently noticed this discoloration

When taking saunas with them   

 


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