David Bowie
I dreamt about David Bowie last night
That was nice for you
I dreamt that he had agreed to attend our jumble sale and that you and all the girls were amazed that I had managed to persuade this mega star to come to our girls event
I dreamt that you and Anaka were bitching about me
Lesbians always bitch about each other
You were bitching about my fat arse
You do have a fat arse
I know but I said there was no need to bitch about it
I do not discuss your arse with Anaka
Well I became angry with you both and stormed out
Where did you go?
To the Green Club
It was a David Bowie themed evening
Well to get back to my dream
Fuck you Simonetta
Well to get back to my dream
Fuck you Simonetta
Well to get back to my dream
In my dream Mr Bowie was in a darkened room with his small entourage
He was signing autographs
But had insisted that the lights be dimmed
It was then that I guessed the truth
What was the truth?
That he was dying
What happened then?
I tried to see his face but was unable to as the light was so poor
He signed his autograph
To Simonetta you have always cared more for the community than about yourself – You will always be much loved – David
What did you do?
I tried to speak to him but found myself sorting out the jumble in the main hall
And then?
My dream ended
The Black Dahlia
Do you remember the last movie we saw?
Not really as we see so many
It was called The Black Dahlia
Oh yes I remember you have had the hots for Scarlett Johansson ever since
You liked the movie also
I also have the hots for Scarlett Johansson as you well know
I think most girls would like to bed Scarlett Johansson
Well it set me thinking about the true murder
I wondered if there had been photographs taken at the crime scene
And were there photographs?
Yes there were a few
Were they horrible?
Yes and no
Well the poor girl had been cut in half and she had been horribly violated
We you not sick?
I was appalled at the violence that had been inflicted on the poor girl
But it was the position of her arms that haunted me
The position of her arms?
It was almost as if she was lying in a cornfield in Kansas looking at the sky
But she was dead she had been horribly murdered by a sick psycho
I know?
Why Kansas?
It was the first state that I thought of
Are there cornfields in Kansas?
I do not know I would imagine that there are cornfields in Kansas
In the photograph there is a LAPD detective looking at her remains
Go on
I thought about him also
This man most likely had a family and at the end of that horrible day he would have returned to them
Elizabeth would have been lying on a mortuary slab in two pieces and this nameless detective would be sharing a meal with his family
It was all part of the job he is likely to have seen far worse
Worse than an innocent girl from Boston cut in two and posed grotesquely
He most likely to have come across rotting bodies in forgotten apartments and the like
How could he have eaten a meal that evening?
He might have just got drunk you know
Maybe
We will never know will we?
The Love Girl and the Innocent
Do you think that God approves of us?
I do not think he cares
God cares about us all
Do you think that we piss him off with our lifestyle?
I have never really thought about it
A lot of it is about friendship you know that is where men get it wrong
They just see us fucking together and it just fuels their fantasies
Before you I had met girls who were not just right for me so I helped them to become attached to another girls
So have I we are all sisters together
That is an awful cliché
It is not a cliché
I like the directness that exists between lesbians
That is because we are all girls
That is another cliché you are speaking in clichés today
Fuck you
Fuck you
Do you know that lesbians share many common tastes?
I thought that would be obvious
That is a limited answer I am surprised at you Simonetta
I mean outside of the physical and the emotional
Do you remember the day when you came out?
I did not come out
I always knew where I was going
I liked the company of men but found women more attractive
Well you know my story
My parents did not accept that I as gay and I had to hide my love letters from Rosetta in a book
What was the book called?
Well it was not exactly a book it was play by Aleksander Solzhenitsyn called The Love Girl and the Innocent
Were you the innocent?
No I was the love girl
I was engaged to Jeffrey and we were fucking all the time but I was also sharing by bed with Rosetta
Who was the innocent then?
Jeffrey obviously he did not have a clue that I was gay and when the truth came out there was hell to pay
I was asked to leave my home
And Jeffrey?
He got over it
He is married to Lauren now and they have a kid but mark my word she will stray some day
I know her she is not gay but she will not settle for his tepid domesticity
I have known her for years
And Jeffrey poor Jeffrey will always be the innocent
He will get so far in his profession and then he will stop
Younger less able men will pass him but he will not resent their travel
He will just accept it
Aaron the Dog interviews Detective Lee
What are you writing?
I am writing a story
What is it about?
It is about Aaron the Dog interviewing Detective Lee on the day of his retirement
They have lived opposite each other for years
But have never really spoken
Apart from exchanging the time of day
Why has Detective Lee retired?
I don’t know I have not reached that stage of the story
Has he reached the statutory retirement age?
He is forty-five
He has taken early retirement
Why has he had enough?
He witnessed the Kennedy assassination
Does he know who was responsible and has retired so that he may go undercover?
I don’t know I have not reached that stage of the story
Do you know that Rosetta had the hots for Jackie Kennedy?
No
She also had some naked paparazzi photos of Jackie that she had cut from a magazine
Jackie was never papped
She was in the 1970s
She was married to Onassis and was on their private island when she was photographed
As if the security was that lax
It was
She was well and truly papped
The First Lady’s bush appeared in a number of magazines
I bet it pissed her off
It did
What happened?
I am not really sure there was a fuss of course but I read somewhere that Onassis found the whole thing rather funny
What did you do?
Nothing I just returned the cuttings to the book and did not mention it
It was her own private fantasy why should I intrude?
There is a movie out about Jackie at the cinema
I know
Some of my friends have seen it
Did they enjoy the movie?
I have not asked them
I suspect it was because of Natalie Portman
She is too skinny for me too boyish
I think she is quite pretty
Is she your type?
What is my type?
That is what I was asking
You are my type
That is a coward’s answer
About your story what happens?
You stole those photographs of Jackie
I did not
You did I always know when you are lying
How
You clench your fists as you are doing now
I did not steal the cuttings
I just gave away the book to a charity shop
And you did not remove Jackie’s naked pics
What did Rosetta say?
She did not say anything
That was when I realised that we would not be together for long
Why?
Because there were parts of her that I did not know
There are parts of me you do not know
You are an open book Simonetta
No I am not
You are I know you inside and out
You don’t
Why do you say that?
Because I gave your book away
Which book
The Matisse
And I did not remove the naked Jackie cuttings
Why did you do that?
Because I wanted to know you more deeply