As you may be aware we have experienced extreme temperatures

For the last couple of weeks

As a supermodel I enjoy the heat although I am careful not to burn

But what saddens me is that certain people spoil it for me

They pass by and are sweaty in their fat bodies and sometimes smell grotesquely

I want to scream at them to shower and be fashion conscious

But know it would be a useless endeavour

 

On the wall of my large apartment I have painting by David Hockney hanging from a wall

It is called Mr and Mrs Clark and Percy

Before I proceed I must point out that it is not David’s original as even I cannot afford that

However my painting is an excellent copy and I love it a great deal

It was painted before I was born and to me exhibits all that is so beautiful in life

There are no filthy people on the street below and everything is so Sunday Supplement

In a way it is an extension of the perfect world that I wished existed today

 

They breed in larger numbers each generation more stupid that the last

This can be stopped as we have the science of eugenics it has been understood for many years

But we refuse to pursue this obvious solution as the liberals will object

Liberal is the most dangerous word in our language

Sandals with socks tight leggings on large women tattoos on the sweaty arms and those awful crocs

These amongst other things spoil my perfect long hot days

I have a small bruise on the my foot as I was clipped by a special needs wheelchair yesterday so careless and so very cruel

 

My agent has invited me to an island where the beautiful people live

On this island nobody ages or dies they just leave and return to their city homes

I think that I will take him up on his offer as my city in this heat has begun to tire me

It is only five hours away deep in the Mediterranean and is miles from nowhere

My city has been spoilt for me as it always does when the August heat swells

I am exiled not out of choice but out of necessity as my eyes are constantly ravaged by the ugliness that surrounds me

Mr and Mrs Clark and Percy will forgive me and have suggested that I wear my Giverny dress on my outward journey