I dreamt that I was on a bus pissing on my seat
My fellow passengers were horrified
And a woman called me a madman
But the bus driver was sympathetic
And said that everybody dreams
I was chasing a chicken around an empty swimming pool
But could not catch it without a net
A famous Argentinian movie star had drowned in the pool in 1981
And it was drained soon after out of respect for her life
Chickens have no concept of death or respect
So I have made it my duty to educate them
I was trapped at a snowbound railway station
With my married cousin
The station was at the end of the world
And was used to transport prisoners
My cousin is very attractive
But I have to take the word of others
As I am completely blind
At the age of twenty-three Christina’s mother was assassinated
After giving birth to me
I was brought up by a childless military couple
Who were kind and generous people
My father and mother died within a year of each other
And I inherited my fathers gun collection
As well as his considerable house
I met Christina at university
And we were married two years later
Since 1990 we have been killing the people
Who were responsible for the assassinations
Christina traps these pathetic dribbling old men
And I kill them by shooting them in both eyes
Recently we have saved enough cash to give Christina’s mother
A Christian burial in a grave yard near the sea
It is due to take place next week
Although neither of us know where she was originally buried