Tiffany on Toast lost her father at fifteen in a mining accident

So she killed the owner of the mine

A year later she lost her mother to a smoking related disease

So she killed the owner of the tobacco company as well as two fund managers whose investments helped the killer company to expand

Her crimes confused the clueless cops

And then the trail went cold

At the age of eighteen Tiffany on Toast took Holy Orders

And never returned them

This was her last crime

She can now be found dispensing love

From s small church in Warwickshire