Barry the Bible Seller had had an exhausting day and saw a tea bar in a silver caravan on a piece of waste ground near the railway

He was dying for a cup of tea and a little affection from a woman from the GDR

When he reached the tea bar he found it was a tea hut which disappointed him slightly.

He ordered a cup of tea and an a bun but was unable to understand the girl whose duty it was to understand his request

Barry told the girl that he was deaf in one ear and was a homosexual and had been ordered by God to sell Bibles in Anytown for the rest of his days

The girl was sympathetic and confirmed her name on her leaving card

Her name was Martha

Barry asked her why she was leaving her job but again was confused by her reply

Martha wrote in the area above the pink rabbit that she was indeed leaving her job and was going to be employed as a pornographic actress in a couple of weeks

This shocked Barry

He asked her whether she was English

She noted in the remaining space on the leaving card that she was not English but from the GDR

Barry let tears of joy run down his cheeks until they found a refuge in his thick ginger beard

God had forgiven him

That evening Barry and the girl from the GDR were married at the railway station by a defrocked priest and were given two free tickets to another town as a wedding gift

But they never reached their destination as the train was derailed just outside of a picturesque village that was surrounded by cedar trees

Barry and his wife were the only casualties

A luggage rack hit Barry on the side of the face causing his hearing to return

He also began to find girls attractive once again

The same luggage rack also hit Martha on the side of her head

This caused her to abandon her ambitions to become a pornographic actress which was an agreeable outcome

But her gender preferences had begun to change and she hoped that God would forgive her

She explained this all to Barry and they stumbled through the cedar trees after the derailment

He said that sex was not important and if she preferred girls then it as okay with him

But deep down he was scared that God might punish his new wife and prayed silently asking for forgiveness

It was as they were approaching Arcadia Avenue that Barry spotted a suitcase hidden the undergrowth

The suitcase contained over a million pounds in used banknotes

It has been dumped there by some drug dealers as they were being chased by the police before the firefight in Coronation Road which resulted in the deaths of all four dealers and a passing badger

God had forgiven them both and within weeks both Barry and Martha had opened a bookshop next to the church which specialised in common first editions with unusual titles

They called their bookshop Barry and the Pornographic Actress

Fin