I like to read philosophy books when I am in the bath

The works well when I am quite alone

But it does prove difficult when my wife joins me in the bath

As instead of of studying my books

I just stare at her magnificent breasts

She sympathises with my dilemma

And often lends me her cosmetic mask

But this creates a further problem

As I cannot see what I am reading

It does wonders for my skin and I must say I look a good ten years younger

But it does inhibit the furtherance of my philosophical knowledge

I have now abstained from taking baths

In the hope that the vacancy will improve me

But this has failed for two reasons

As now I am beginning to stink and socially this has turned me into something of a leper

But more importantly I have discovered that if I do not bathe

That I will not be able to read my many books of philosophy

Life can be so simple yet so complex at the same time

You know this is true when you smile into the mirror

And it refuses to show any emotion in return