About twenty years ago I found a small exercise book full of handwritten poems in a park in London

They were very good and much superior to anything that I had ever written

I did nothing for five years and then decided to publish them under my own name

The poems were well received and I was celebrated within the literary world

And then I stayed silent even though I was asked to publish another collection

The reason was quite obvious as I knew that I was a fraud

It was then that I met a woman called Jolanda who liked to be known as Y

We had a whirlwind romance and married to following year

It was about then that my problems started

As Y told me that she was a poet but had stopped writing a number of years previously

She would not reveal the reason why

Although I was a mediocre poet I encouraged her to write

And to my shock I found out that her poems were mine

She told me that her first desire had been revenge

But on meeting me she saw that I was a weak and a lost man

It may seem strange but that is the reason she fell for me

I told her that I was so ashamed that I would abandon poetry

But she asked me not to be as hasty as this would damage her work

And also although I was a dishonest shit she did love me a great deal

So I decided to create another poet a female poet called Y

To my many readers it was seem that I was creating a theatre

The poems were a great success and gathered a number of awards

My wife was very happy with the arrangement as she could remain hidden

But I increasingly felt like a fraud and was losing respect for myself

It was then that I decided to design gardens under my brothers name

There was an honesty about nature that I could not find in myself

And slowly but surely I faded pretending to be totally burned out

Y understood my position and wanted each of us to be happy

That is why I am writing this poem as a kind of suicide note

As the scandal will destroy my literary career

Doors will close on me and I will be isolated in the gardens that I design

But in a perverse way this I hope will promote Y to where she deserves to be

Y is happy to take the chance as our marriage is stronger than literary recognition

We have agreed on the title which is my last ever smokescreen

A poor one but that is all I have left