I was lying in bed bed with my cousin Morag

An unusual arrangement

But this was only a dream

And unusual things happen in dreams

The harsh henry winds were battering the frail windows

Of the cottage but they were quite regular

And not to be feared as some northerly winds are

Later in the day Morag and I were going to see Ross County play

My team were actually Cally Thistle but they were playing away in Dundee

Morag was wearing a pair of men’s pyjamas

Which pleased me as I was a homosexual of many years guilt

She wore them to hide her rather large bottom

To me her bottom was not all that ugly

It was just that it was rather large

She did not mind me seeing her bottom

As she considered that my sexuality

Disqualified me from having an opinion

Although I visited Inverness quite frequently

I did it for selfish reasons as I loved the snow

And was sad that the locals treated it with such contempt

My cousin Morag like me loved the snow

Noting that she would never ever move south

As she thought it would be too hot for her

We went to the football match together in Dingwall that afternoon

Where Ross County beat Alloa by a goal to nil

It was a rather physical game which saw two players sent off

But we enjoyed the battle nonetheless even though it was raw and bleak

I managed to take a cold back to my small London house

As my constitution was soft and could not stand the harsh Highlands

My cousin Morag was the total opposite and she thought nothing of walking in all weathers

Dressed in only in jeans and what could be considered a summer sweater or a cardigan

She was never ill and had only visited hospital once about five years ago

When she fell from her bicycle on a frozen road and broke her arm

I do not know when I will be visiting the Highlands again

As dreams occur and are not ordered

I will have to wait until I find myself naked in Morag’s bed

Next to my Scottish cousin in her men’s pyjamas

It is likely that I will be staring at her bedroom ceiling

That was last painted brilliant white two years before I was born

The ghost of her maternal grandfather lingers in the room

I see him flitting and working within the bright shadows

When he died most of the town turned out for his funeral

As he was the greatest painter and decorator Inverness had ever known