I had felt sick that morning and found myself in an unpleasant loo in a shopping mall where I shit freely and without reason
As I looked at the door I saw evidence of recent homosexual activity which sickened me even more
After an age I reached forward to the paper dispenser and found it to be empty
Tears of anger mixed with my sweat and ran slowly down my cheeks
Baise la Republique I whispered to myself Baise la Republique
My train had been cancelled and as I waited for the next one the platform became very full
The station announcer who I had fucked in a previous life informed me that the train was now full and standing
Which is was when it arrived
As I tried to squeeze on to the train a cunt had cross words with me which I ignored although I wanted him to dance in pain to the music of a Kalashnikov
He further argued with an ugly woman who scratched his face with her tiger nails
But my joy was short lived as I realised that the express that I was on did not stop at my station
Which was only a blur as we sped through its familiar surroundings
Baise la Republique I whispered to myself Baise la Republique
When I arrived late at my place of employment I headed for the shower room
To clean myself up
But it was closed for renovation and I was directed to a gym two miles away
I worked late that day to make up the time and kept away from my tedious colleagues
Saying that I was not all that well which they might have guessed
On the way home after stopping at the pharmacy
I popped into my local shop and purchased some milk and a bag of sugar
But the bag split only yards from my flat and the contents shattered at my feet
Baise la Republique I whispered to myself Baise la Republique
A soon as I arrived home I ran a bath but found that my lavender bath water was cold as my boiler had blown a fuse
I bathed in its arctic waters that evening
But at least I was clean and my stomach appeared to have settled
I cooked a light meal and watched football on the television
My favourite side lost heavily to a team that I despised and were out of the cup for another season
Life then took a turn for the better when my sweetheart sent me a text and suggested that we might break up
As I was a bore and very predictable as well as being a lousy fuck
Baise la Republique I whispered to myself Baise la Republique
It was time to go to bed I said to myself and soon I was between my cool sheets
I then remembered that I had forgotten to feed my budgie only to find that the poor creature
Was stiff and dead on the floor its ruby cage
It was a warm night and the stagnant air in my flat was heavy and still
I was in a dilemma as my pet’s decomposition was near
If I left its disposal to the morning the room would stink of death
Distribution into the street below was an option
As a meal for the feral cats
But I loved the bird and he had been my constant companion for a number of years
It was then that I decided to wrap him a gentle yellow duster and place him in the rubbish chute
Which was nearly opposite my door.
But there was a problem as I was naked and my gown was in the wash
So I decided to chance it and go to the chute and dispose of my little friend
I opened my door with a little apprehension
The coast seemed to be clear so I crept across the passage
As I did so I thought of my ex and how we would when drunk streak along the passage as far as the lift in joyous and gay abandon
But those days were long gone
I was a bore and a predictable fuck
But this was of little concern to me as I deposited my budgie into the vacancy of the chute
It was then that the obvious dawned on me as I realised that I had locked myself out
With owl eyes I stared at the empty passage in despair
A cold knotting gripped my poor stomach
I had also forgotten to take the binding agent
That had been suggested by the pharmacist
Baise la Republique I whispered to myself Baise la Republique