When I am gardening I often think about Charles Baudelaire as I am in love with Andrea Allen who works in a shop called Under the Sea and Far Away
The shop sells everything to do with the garden and is owned by her parents Mr and Mrs Smith
Andrea is aware of my admiration for her but teases me without mercy
There are women who inspire you with desire to conquer them and take your pleasure of them
But this one fills you only with the desire to die slowly beneath her gaze
I know that she has other men in her life as I see her strolling with them
Last week I saw Andrea go into the tattoo shop near the harbour
When I asked her why she had visited the tattoo shop she said that she now had a tattoo of her true love on her bottom
I asked her why she had done such a strange thing as her bottom is always covered
It was then that she told me that Naked Gardening Day was to be celebrated on the first Saturday in June and that she and her parents would be as naked as Adam and Eve
I was aware of this event as it had been held for the previous three years and I had visited it last year with the sole intention of seeing Andrea naked only to be told that she was travelling in the Far East
That is why I love gardening so much as I am not judged on my slight frame or my small penis as I was by the naked twins Judith in the shop last year
What little confidence I had was eroded by these secretaries one and two and I resolved not to attend the event this year
That is why I am in a dilemma as I love Andrea Allen and would like to see her unclothed but what if there is the name of another suitor on her fleshy cheek
I not think I could stand it if standing naked next to the weed killer I saw the name of another man on her bottom as she turned slowly around
My primroses are looking at me as they always do and I might turn to them for advice but really the decision is all mine
I wonder what Charles would have done all those years ago
His book of poetry is on my garden table but is at present as silent as the deepest night hour