I told you not to drink too much coffee

What a moron you are

Did they teach you nothing in Girl Scouts

Coffee is a diarrhetic and I should know

You were here at the last Summer Camp

When I drank Snoopy’s stale coffee

And had to shit in the woods

Where I found the poisoned ivy

And ended up in ER

I still have the scars you know

They have ruined my life

It is likely when I am older

That I might have to suffer

The menace of the dark surgeons knife