In my dream I had moved back to Shepherds Bush

Where I had lived as a child

I had not been too happy about moving back

As I thought that the area would be inner city and violent

But I found nothing but nice people and a gentle community

We were running a newsagents shop which was next to an American themed cafe

And this is where my dream turned strange as I soon met Clint Eastwood

This was not the mean Clint Eastwood of his Spaghetti Westerns

But the nice Clint Eastwood of Paint you Wagon

He took to me straight away and called me

The Picture Show Man

Due to my interest in cinema

He asked me write and direct a scene from his latest movie

There was a less than honest character in the town

Who lent money at high interest rates

Many of the town folk were indebted to him

And because of this the Indian shopkeeper and his English wife

Had closed up shop paid up their debts and left Shepherds Bush

And therein lay his weakness as he had bought up their empty shop

So that he could open it as a casino attracting people who were not that nice

To this lovely square in the middle of Shepherds Bush

And this is where Clint came in and my screenplay become confused

As Clint had soon become aware of the characters dishonesty

He invited the good people of the town to my fathers shop

And with swindler present said that the man he had made one million dollars

By investing their over payments in a get rich quick mine

Clint was immediately challenged to prove his accusation

It was then that I produced two ex army surplus lockers

And said that the matter would in time be solved

If Clint and the dishonest character stepped in to them

After a short discussion scripted by me this took place

Although due to Clint’s height I had to remove the upper shelf

Nothing happened for a while apart from the lockers gently shaking

I was then invited to open them so we could reach a denouement

This I did and we found them empty apart from a copy of

The Shepherds Bush Gazette which was caught on a desert breeze

And blown out into the dusty square with little opposition

I explained that I had been writing a script for a science fiction movie

And had mixed the pages of both scripts together in a moment of confusion

In a way I expected a less than happy reaction from the people of the town

But their reaction surprised me as I was patted on the back and kissed by the bar owners wife

They explained to me that although they loved having Clint in the square

They were afraid that his violent past would follow him into the town

And it would be for the best if Clint and the dishonest character

Were travelling in time millions of light years away from Shepherds Bush

I was a celebrity and was invited with my father and brother to the cafe next door

For a Last Picture Show hamburger meal with lashings of coke and lemon coffee

My reputation was further enhanced when I was able to identify all the film posters on the wall

I was an expert on French New Wave cinema and the cinema of South America which helped a great deal

My brother had returned from the post office and we were ready for our burgers and coke

When my phone rang quietly in my pocket

I excused myself and answered the call

It was Clint who told me that he had left the dishonest character in an eternal worm hole

And was coming back on the 15:17 from Paris which was due to arrive in London at tea time

He said that he had an idea for a new movie and wanted me to write the script