In the dream I had been employed

To take a naked census of vehicles

Using the southern motorways

I thought this to be a poor idea

As I considered that it would cause accidents

But then I found myself naked in a field

With two men and two women

A sixth person whose gender

I could not determine was sitting in a wheelchair

On a motorway bridge some distance away

I had been invited to the plateau

But had declined as my dream comrades

Had not been invited

I have never kissed Voltaire

I said as I was handed a calculator

By a passing bee q bee

We were positioned by a slip road

And were male female male female

My census partner came from the east of the country

And spoke quietly almost disguising her rural accent

We were hooted by a number of lorries and vans

But that was all as most considered it to be a poor publicity stunt

Instead of a naked census of traffic using the new motorways

I had previously landed a flying saucer on the hard shoulder

Which I thought would interest the drivers more than our nudity

The proved to be a masterstroke as it attracted much attention

And we were able to hide behind a large coca cola hoarding

Where we continued to count the vehicles passing in both directions

 

 

DP