I have friends in the Channel Islands who insist that they are not in Normandy

This however is not true as they are part of Normandy as much as Cherbourg Rouen and Le Havre

Dogs and bitches are often called Norman and Joan in defiance of this reported geography

I have no such problem as I am called Bonzo Beach after Bonzo Beach the French artist

Whose real name is Tina which is my middle name

My sister who is a very beautiful nun is named The Perfect Normandy or Sister Norm for short

I never wanted to become a nun as I chatter endlessly about inane subjects such as this poem

Rip tides also interest me as well as weather patterns in the South Atlantic

You may think that I am an odd fellow but I am happily married to my sister

We have considered children but have delayed our decision as we are worried about the primroses

That cling precariously to the pink pink cliffs and the rear of our garden which are falling into the sea

The Mother Superior (Barbie) feels that we are being foolish as she has built a creche in the convent

But she sees our views and blesses them as he knows that any loss of primroses might upset the infant and cause the guard dogs to harm self harm

I have spoken to the dog about this and he has assured me that he is taking Holy Orders even though she holds pantheist beliefs

My other guard dog is called Fashionista Ken but it has never come out of its kennel which maybe due to the fact that it fell into the sea in 1945

We do have another dog with very big eyes (although it is blind) but we have never enquired of its breed

I think it is a sheepdog named Killer but a couple novitiate nuns disagree and we often discuss this at naturist retreats in Southern France

 

Fin