At present I am suffering from a minor but uncomfortable virus

Which consists of a cold and various aches and pains

It is making me very tetchy and I feel that I want to take my misfortune out on something or someone

It seems to me that when I was younger there were not so many illnesses around

One had to avoid the regular favourites and hope for the best

But of late there is this that that this and all the other fun things of life

And apart from contracting this common virus I have suffered two minor accidents

A few days ago I was making a cup of tea at three in the morning

As I was not sleeping well and had decided to get up to write this wretched pointless poem

When to my surprise the bottom fell off my cup showering my hand and nearest foot with boiling water

I was lucky as the cold tap was near and I neutralised any damage immediately

The fate cup has so impressed me that I have kept both parts of it as a social sculpture in my study

It is on the same shelf as two impossibly beautiful figurines and pebble that resembles a female part

I have named both the figurines Sissy as I tend to give these items of desire the same name

As of today I have not named either the pebble or the accidental cup as I cannot think of anything suitable

My second accident occurred when I stubbed my smallest toe on the lounge table that had always been there

At first I thought I had broken it but as the swelling receded it was not even cracked just badly bruised

Even though this was my own fault for charging about without consideration I considered it an affront

Somebody was out to get me a scalded hand and foot and the damage to my pinkie toe

I was not sure who my foe was but was still making plans to lynch or shoot them if I was not left alone

And then this shallow virus attacked me and any filter I might have had has vanished into a pyre of self loathing

I am prickly and confrontational and a total misery to know or even love nothing pleases me

Jane who is used to my egg shell moods decided to purchase a small teddy bear for me when shopping yesterday

My little bear is fist sized and its plush is pink brown pink and soft to the touch

He is also wearing a thick woollen scarf which is slightly too big for him but the effect is pleasing

This was a masterstroke on Jane’s behalf as I have found a fellow creature who sees the bad in everything

I have called the bear Bill as it did not like Sissy or Phillip and have been in conversation with it for a number of hours

Bill originated in a dime store in the Mid West of Amerika where people are born then suffer for a few years and then finally die

He had been in the store for just under a year before a passing British woman who was trying to find the real Amerika purchased Bill as a souvenir of nothingness

On her return to the UK she had kept Bill for a few months and then gave him to a charity shop with all her other travel memories

Bill had actually enjoyed himself in the shop although the special people who were employed to help the more able bodied volunteers irritated him as did the children who insisted on groping him before deciding that a another toy more awful was their treat

The other toys were okay and he actually became friendly with Stuart the Minion before he was purchased as a dog toy

In a way Bill was unaware of what to expect and thought that Jane had bought him for a child so imagine his surprise when she photographed him and placed his likeness on a social media site

Initially and it did cross his mind that he was going to be treated as a peculiar sex toy and the photograph was intended to stimulate perverts on the internet who are known to get off on soft toys

But then he met Outlaw who he found resting and near an imagined death on a green settee

He liked his new unshaven unkempt owner at once as he sensed in the injustice and anger in his deep green eyes

Like Bill he was angry with a less than perfect world and although much older than Bill was loyal to the prejudices of his youth but much less tolerant

It was either black or white there were no grey areas in Outlaw’s eyes

People who disagreed with him were lower than the smallest creature on his sliding scale

Jane was sweet although this hid a steely determination and importantly she knew how to handle Outlaw

They argued a lot about the most mundane of things but were deeply in love

Outlaw was a brilliant and original poet and knew it as he often spoke down to people who disagreed with him using his undoubted intellectual powers to make them feel foolish

It was an undoubtedly cruel weapon but Bill admired it greatly as although neither an intellectual or a poet he and Outlaw were one of a kind

Outlaw had views on most things and was venomous towards certain people who he thought to be beneath him

Bill was the same as his experiences in Amerlka had had a profound effect on the way he saw things

Both Outlaw and Bill believed in the food chain theory and based a number of their observations and actions on them

Neither thought anything of being unpleasant to others whilst at the same time showing a great compassion towards other people who they approved of

Strangely both Outlaw and Bill believed in the vivid possibility of there being a God and both prayed at times during the day

For Outlaw it was his God an intellectual equal with whom he shared an intimate bond

Somebody somewhere had given him his considerable poetical talent and his perceived ability to see things clearly

For Bill his whole belief in God was because of humour as he reasoned that the polarity that he witnessed on a daily basis meant that a God somewhere had a great sense of humour

Outlaw was fond of saying that without beauty the world is nothing

Bill amended this to without humour the world is nothing

Although accidental Jane’s purchase of Bill had been an important moment in both the lives of Outlaw and Bill

If Jane had purchased a normal larger bear then they would not have met and Bill would have been tormented by a child or worse still met a savage death as a dog toy

It was a pure coincidence that Outlaw and Bill had met

Outlaw had promised Bill that when he had recovered from his cold that he would study the mathematics of the whole event

Bill adored mathematics as much as Outlaw and was also looking forward to sharing his friend’s poetical visions

It was a meeting of minds

 

 

 

 

Outlaw (11/03/22)