Joseph Campbell once said that Catholic Nuns do not have visions of the Buddha
Nor do Buddhist Nuns have visions of Christ and that the deity of one’s worship
Is the function of one’s own state of mind
Perhaps
But why then do I have Buddha’s in my Garden Sue
When I believe in Christ and his teachings
Why did you call me Garden Sue
Because that is your name
Sue with the lovely Lady Garden
Therefore Garden Sue
My name is Anna
That is my name also
Anna
Yes Sue
U felt troubled yrsterday
No I felt ytoubled yyestersay
Anna stop typing in the saek
What upswwe yoy
It was a poster
Of what
A simple loyttery poster
Why dis it upset you
Because it qiestioned my conceptions
Why
Because I expected to see a nuclear coiuple
A guy ans a girl
but it made clear thay the couple ertr men
so what
I fwly hurt
I felt angry
I thought faggots did not bother you
They donr bother men
Indded they are gentlr crearures
Unlike the average alpha
So what made you abry
It is very stupid but if I had been with my niece pr nephew
Go on
That they would see it
See what
The hidden messafes
The decline of the nuclear family
The decline of western socoety
I diubt it
They would be lloking forward to going to the fun fair
Anna
Yes Sue
Why are you writing in the half light
I like Dawn
Dawn likes you Sue
What did you so Sue
I am Anna
But you have a beautiful lady garden
So i am going to call you Sue
Sue and Sue
Does it do it for you Sue
Not really
See it id light noe so mo more misspellings
There were two Sue in the last line
Irs fine
Mo ir is not
Do you suffer from dyslexia Sue
No
You
Not that I am aware
Switch the fucking light on Sun
I like writing in the natural light
Light
On
So what did you do Sue
I went back to our shed and picked up the spare can of yellow paint
I waited until it was quiet and then I threw the paint at the advertisement
I think wrote Faggots will Due on the pavement in front of the bis shelter
That was the clever part
What is clever about vandalism
They would think that this attack was down to an uneducated himophbe
Not a clever girl like me who went to Oxford
You went to Cambridge Sue
So that is why I saw you walking along the parade covered in yellow paint
I buried my clothes on the beach
That was environmentally friendly of you Sue
There are CCTV cameras everywhere
I wore your Ray-Bans Sue
So that I would not be recognised
OK let me get this straight
Firstly you took offence at a poster showing a couple faggots that disturbed you ideas of the nuclear family
Secondly you took my final tin of yellow paint and vandalised the whole fucking thing
And thirdly you stole my beloved Ray-Bans as a disguise
Who do you think you are Top Gun fucking Maverick
Are you fucked off with me Sue
No I fucking admire you Anna
Sue
My name us Sue
I fucking admire you Sue
Why
Because at times you can be a little timid and lack confidence and now you have made a great big statement
The faggot poster fucked you off so you destroyed it
You are marvellous
Anna
Sue
Sue
Call me Anna
I have something else to confess
You have not been masturbating over Tom Cruise again
Worse
Karl Marx
Much worse
I think you will be angry with me
Why
I sent a death threat to the lottery chief and to the advertising agency
Yes
I did not use my name
I did not use any name
So what
I had run out of writing paper
I think I know what you are going to say
I used your embossed writing paper
With this address
No the one we use for fan letters with the London address
It is a PO Box
I know
But I used your name
To hide mine
WHATEVER FOR
You have always said that you like living on the edge
Like going commando in a short skirt
Or wearing a gossamer blouse without a bra when we go to church
Anna
Sue
There is a lot of difference between flashing you bits in public and committing homophobic attacks on bus shelters
Are you mad at me
Anna
Sue
No you are fucking Anna and I am fucking Anna
But what about your lady garden
Fuck my lady garden
:-0
Stop smirking Anna
Stop fucking smirking Anna
:-0
Anna here is a Buddha
Pretend that you are a Catholic Nun
Close your eyes lift your nightie and get to work
I will make a cup of tea
And do not scream as the windows are wide open
Outlaw are you there
Do you know what time it is Anna
Two minutes past midnight
Are you still in Lima
Obviously
Does she ever come up for air
Rarely
Have you a reason for phoning me
Just to say thank you for this latest fiction
It was spot on
I am glad you liked it
You are a comic genius Outlaw
I know
What is that noise Anna
Is Anna masturbating again
Yes
Tom Cruise
No Buddha
Different
ANNA KEEP IT CALM I AM TALKING TO OUTLAW
Toast
PLEASE
It will be cold by the time it reaches Peru
Funny
Is that all Anna
Yes
Just throw a bucket of cold water over her Anna
I will
Fuck me Outlaw I hope she is not using my Virgin Mary again