Anna have you ever taken drugs
No
Have you
Yes
Then you are stupid
I only smoked
So smoking is good
No
I did not take hard drugs
That is rather like a serial killer saying that he only killed six people whereas the true professionals kill many more
I always hate you once a month
You are a complete bitch
Fuck you as well
I am sorry Anna but I feel that I smell when I have my periods
You do not smell Anna
They why do you not visit the valley of delights
Out of respect that is all
Liar
Tell me about your drug filled days
There is not much to tell
Who is Rupert
He is the vicar of St Andrews in Wimbledon
You still chat
I know
Do you get off on members of the church
No
We are just friends
Also we share a love of Hopkins poetry
You are so pure Anna
But you have a past with with him
I know but not in the way you think
Did he fuck you or bathe you in Holy Water
No
Then what
Well long before I met you and long before Ibiza I lived in Wimbledon
Daddy had opened up a gallery there and I looked after it and lived in the flat above it with Ruth
Was she another of your special friends
No I went to Roedean with her
She was in the year above me but we were great pals
Valley pals
No Anna please do not be basic
She knew that she had a vocation in the church
But she was confused
So she took a sabbatical and worked with me in the gallery
What happened
Well she was rather fond of the odd drink and the odd smoke
We always seemed to have a supply in the flat
How does Rupert come into this
He was a friend of Ruth’s
Was he trying to get into her pants
Far from it
Did he fancy you
He hardly noticed me
Was he in training then
Yes his father had planned for him to take over at St Andrews as he was suffering badly with arthritis
He was a long way into his training when it happened
What happened
Well he was invited around to a Cheese and R Whites at the flat
Go on
It all went well for a while
I became silly and squiffy
As normal
And to my surprise Ruth followed
She became very silly and lit up and offered Rupert one
He refused on the spot
She then asked whether he liked girls or was he a faggot
He gave a vague answer about God’s plan for him
Were you smoking
Is the Pope a Catholic
She then asked had he ever seen a girl naked
He only blushed and lowered his eyes
So what happened
We both stripped off in front of him and encouraged him to do the same
Did he
Not straight away
Ruth almost jammed a smoke in his mouth and then filled his glass a million times
And slowly but surely he gave in
Did you both pile in and have a three
You are very basic Anna
Then answer
No we did not fuck suck or anything like that
Why
Because he started weeping
Why
Because when he undressed he exposed the biggest hard on I had ever seen
It was fucking huge
I even feel wet now thinking about it
God knows how big his father was
He was like a fucking horse
Did it end there
More or less
So nothing more happened
Not really
We just put him to bed
He was so upset
I felt like a proper bitch and so did Ruth
When we woke the following morning he had already gone
I tried to contact him a few days later but his dad said he was taking a short spiritual break
He had gone to Italy to find himself
Was he really fucked off with you
No
When he returned from Italy he came into the gallery
And gave us both a beautiful Bible each which he had signed with love
We agreed to have coffee
We both apologised for being silly bitches
He said that only God forgives
But there was nothing to forgive us for as all we had done was to show him the beauty of woman
He knew that one day he would meet his perfect partner
We had helped him on his path and for that he was so grateful
This indeed was a test that God had set for him and although he had got the hard on from Hell he had not failed his father
We were his sisters
That is why I keep in contact with him
And Ruth
She is also a vicar but now lives in Yorkshire
What do you chat about
Many things
His massive cock
Do not be flippant Anna otherwise I will go for a walk
Its raining
Rupert gives me spiritual guidance
Spiritual guidance
Yes I need it some times
What about me
You are a lost cause Anna
I think Rupert would see you as a fallen angel