I am writing a poem called
Coffee Cunt and Cheese on Toast
Why
Because they are three of my favourite things
Really
Yes
I adore coffee and wherever I am in the world
I drink coffee
India
Iceland
Ireland and in Greece
It does not matter where I am
What about cunt
Explain yourself
Do you find my cunt tedious
Far from it
I think your cunt is delicious
It is full of mystery and delight
I like your pubic hair
I often sleep there in my dreams
And think of your perfumed cave
Cheese on Toast Stanley
This is just too explicit of you
I love you dearly but Cheese on Toast
Have you another toaster
No
So why Cheese on Toast
I know that you are blunt and have no filter
But Cheese on Toast
It is all about mathematics Jane
In what way
You know that I love Coffee Cunt and Cheese on Toast
So you ensure that these are the component parts of our lazy mornings
You make the coffee and then bring it to me
Your gown falls open revealing your cunt
And then you bring me Cheese on Toast
This makes me happy
You spoke about mathematics
Yes
What I am saying is that each can exist on its own
Coffee is a solitary drink
Cheese on Toast is a solitary snack
What about cunts
I was getting to that
A woman will only have one cunt
If she had two or more she would look funny
But cunts are solitary creatures shy and hidden
They are not as gregarious as the others
Stanley you are talking shit
I implore you to end this poem straight away
Why
Because it going nowhere
It is going forward
All poems go forward
And I suppose backwards
Stanley
Yes
Shut Up
Why
I want you to stop writing
If you do not I will wear a ghastly nightie in bed
I will serve you tea and give you mushrooms on toast
I hate mushrooms
Are you going to stop writing
Yes
Stan and Jane