Do you know something
Yes I have problems too
It is sex
It confuses me
No not the holes
That is the easy part
At the last count there were only four
It is pissing
A quite ordinary thing
Rather boring if you think about it
You spend the first twenty years of your life
Pissing down a bog or into the bushes
At the end of a railway platform
Or over your shoes
It is a tedious occupation
And then you meet a girl
A beautiful girl perfumed and delicate
With the added attraction of an en suite fuck
Life is good and if you are tired after the match
She will give you a quick hand job as she washes the teams kit
But then it happens after months of heavy sex
She pleads tiredness as you have fucked her dry
And then asks you the question
Will you piss in my mouth
WHAT
You offer her a shit but that will not do
It has to be piss
Do not take this the wrong way as I like a golden shower as much as the next man
Menstrual blood really turns me on
That and her hairy pits sweaty after a long run
But pissing in her mouth
NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Whatever is she thinking
Yuk
She offers you threesome with her best friend
Ivy
You still refuse
A bit of girl on girl
You can watch with coffee provided
Still no
She asks you whether you are a faggot
This confuses you as why would you be a meat product from Iceland
You give in and piss in her mouth
She is wearing her Burger King uniform without the pants
It is a harrowing experience
You smile but secretly you are scarred
And make a resolution to speak to the Pope
When you are next in Rome