STAN
What’s wrong Jane
I have found a mouse in the house
You are a poet Jane
What
Mouse in the house it rhymes
Fuck Off Stan
Where is the mouse Jane
It’s here
Where is here
In the humane mouse trap
Wow that is a surprise as I baited it last night
There was no cheese in this humane mouse trap
The mouse has probably eaten it Jane
Mice like cheese
Mice eat cheese
Mice do not like cats
Cats do not like mice
Darwin knew this
You did not bait this humane mouse trap
I did
There were two Stan you baited the first but ignored the one near the door
I did not see it
You were too busy watching football and were not listening when I gave you your instructions
I have an ear infection my love
Do you want to get seriously hurt Stan
You know I hate mice
I used to keep them when I was a child
So you keep telling me
They are such spiritual creatures
Jane why did you do that
Because you are a cunt Stan
That was my World Cup Guide and they are so expensive these days
£9.99 from the Paki shop in the town which is incredible
When I purchased one in 1982 it was only £1.50
STAN
Yes
Why did the mouse ignore the baited trap and instead go to the trap that you forgot to bait
Search me
Oh not such a great intellectual now
Frankly Jane I do not care
Mice are mice
But there is one thing that interests me
What is that
The colour of the mouse
What colour was it
Black
Really
What colour was the mouse we found on Tuesday in the baited humane mouse trap
How the fuck should I know
You took a photograph of it
I do not remember doing that
I asked you to so as it was for my mouse porn site Squeaky Clean
Look at the photo
What colour was the Tuesday mouse
A grey brown colour
What colour was the mouse you found in the unbaited humane mouse trap
Black I have already told you so dim boy
Not nice
Stan there are times that I love you so much that I could eat you
I enjoy those moments
But at other times I could drop you from the tallest of buildings
You just misunderstand me Jane
No I understand you Stan but the trouble is that you do not understand yourself