It was a day as many tedious cold and busy
I was travelling to work and looking at my phone
When a short video of a Northern Line train
Travelling along a coastal line took my fancy
It was an impossible recording of a journey
As I knew that even if the Northern Heights Extension
Had been been built it would not have reached Holy Island
Or have passed Alnwick Castle in the Norfolk Broads
It was then I became aware that Linda from Commercial
Who was sitting next to me and was weeping silently into a dirty slag
I had always fancied Linda but she was too upmarket for me
So I contented myself with fetid fantasies about her quite naked
I asked her what was wrong and she told me that a foreigner
Had raped her mother and had eaten her father earlier in the day
She identified this brute as the greaseball sitting opposite
Without a thought I pulled out my Magnum 347/44 and blew his head apart
This made Linda very happy and she let me touch her wet dripping cunt
But best of all she let me share her cheese cheddar and onion crisps
Fuck Fuck oh Fuck Fuck Fuck the cops were in the carriage
And I was travelling on an out of date season ticket Fuck Fuck Fuck
So was Linda but she blew all three of them apart from the queer
Who just watched masturbating violently over a couple of tourists
Who had come to London for the Kings Coronation
I have to admit that I was a a sucker for the rough scenery
That was passing by outside and I thought of Anne Lister
Anne Lister Anne Lister I wanted to be her gentle fuck
But the Shibden Hall tube station was closed for essential repairs
Linda alighted at Kings X but left her soiled panties on the seat
I hid them in my pocket for my fuck sisters future use
And waited for Tooting Rebecca who had accepted my proposal
Of marriage how I loved Tooting Bec Tooting Bec although I did
not worked there as i was unemployed apart from being the director
of a refugee charity based in based in Captain Cook’s thoughts
In Beamish and Saltaire Bournemouth the Isle of Wight Cambridge
Ely and Whitby
Fuck me Mina Harker suck me Lucy Westentra
Let me walk youe savage dog and feed it uncleen meat
My train has stopped we have been shipwrecked on the rocks
I am the only survivor
Yeast
Yeast is mt name
Linda is sitting next to me
She tells me that Yeast rhymes with Beast
I propose marriage
She accepts
We plan our future
And then die