It was a day as many tedious cold and busy

I was travelling to work and looking at my phone

When a short video of a Northern Line train

Travelling along a coastal line took my fancy

It was an impossible recording of a journey

As I knew that even if the Northern Heights Extension

Had been been built it would not have reached Holy Island

Or have passed Alnwick Castle in the Norfolk Broads

It was then I became aware that Linda from Commercial

Who was sitting next to me and was weeping silently into a dirty slag

I had always fancied Linda but she was too upmarket for me

So I contented myself with fetid fantasies about her quite naked

I asked her what was wrong and she told me that a foreigner

Had raped her mother and had eaten her father earlier in the day

She identified this brute as the greaseball sitting opposite

Without a thought I pulled out my Magnum 347/44 and blew his head apart

This made Linda very happy and she let me touch her wet dripping cunt

But best of all she let me share her cheese cheddar and onion crisps

Fuck Fuck oh Fuck Fuck Fuck the cops were in the carriage

And I was travelling on an out of date season ticket Fuck Fuck Fuck

So was Linda but she blew all three of them apart from the queer

Who just watched masturbating violently over a couple of tourists

Who had come to London for the Kings Coronation

I have to admit that I was a a sucker for the rough scenery

That was passing by outside and I thought of Anne Lister

Anne Lister Anne Lister I wanted to be her gentle fuck

But the Shibden Hall tube station was closed for essential repairs

Linda alighted at Kings X but left her soiled panties on the seat

I hid them in my pocket for my fuck sisters future use

And waited for Tooting Rebecca who had accepted my proposal

Of marriage how I loved Tooting Bec Tooting Bec although I did

not worked there as i was unemployed apart from being the director

of a refugee charity based in based in Captain Cook’s thoughts

In Beamish and Saltaire Bournemouth the Isle of Wight Cambridge

Ely and Whitby

Fuck me Mina Harker suck me Lucy Westentra

Let me walk youe savage dog and feed it uncleen meat

My train has stopped we have been shipwrecked on the rocks

I am the only survivor

Yeast

Yeast is mt name

Linda is sitting next to me

She tells me that Yeast rhymes with Beast

I propose marriage

She accepts

We plan our future

And then die