Did you see that woman on the green bicycle

Which woman

The one on the green bicycle

Which bicycle

The green bicycle

The bus cut her up on the corner

No

You did

You watched her arse all the way up the road

What arse

That arse

Oh yes I think I remember her

What did you notice

That is a trick question Jane

It is not a trick question

What did you notice

That she was riding an expensive bicycle

It was more specific than that

That she was small of stature

She was not that small

Really

But what did you notice about her

Her bum

No Stan apart from that

I am an arse man you know

I am very aware of that

What is the your favourite thing about men

Their absence

Lesbian

If it had been a man you would have criticised him

Faggot

Not a real man

That is your usual tune

But men wearing Lycra Jane

It is all rather obscene

Rather like Speedo’s on the beach

There is just something odd

About male cyclists clad in Lycra

Riding together

In your view

You never see girls with them

You do at times

Yes but it is rare

The girl is probably the spare bike

Funny Stan Funny

But back to the woman on the green bicycle what did you notice

I know you saw this as I saw your mind working

Was it that her helmet matched her expensive bicycle

And that her green cycling rags

Were perfectly matched

Lime Green and Racing Green

It was a nice combination

Why did you not say anything

I did not think it worth discussing

You would discuss the opening of supermarket doors

Female fashions you love the subject

I have an eye

I am a fashionista

It comes as naturally as breathing to me

Did you not consider her choice worth discussion

Yes I did

You did not mention it

Why are we having this conversation Jane

It is pretty vacuous

I agree

This fiction will not attract a great readership

Possibly not

Its subject matter is pretty limited and rather boring

It tries to titillate with thoughts of women in tight clothing

I agree again

I feel that it is an escape road

Rather like an actress who takes her kit off to sell a crap movie

It is all rather cheap Stan

I am surprised at the writer

Stan & Jane