Darling Jane

Thank you for your mail

It amused me greatly

As today has been a sad day

Because I found out that the union official

Who was causing the unrest up norf

Was not actually run over by the steamroller

But his dog was squashed instead

Which is sad in its own way

As Mr Lynch will have to find another flat mate /wife

On another more domestic subject

Please find attached one of our pornographic photographs

(Of Stan and Jane fucking like savages on coke in Lisbon)

As I want to illustrate a point

In answer to your recent comments

About my inability to load the dishwasher

(Which I hate with a vengeance)

I have called our photograph

Loading the Dishwasher

Please enjoy

Love Stan xxx

Stan

You are a grade one cunt

But I still love you

In view of this would you do me a favour

Would you pop into the local charity shops

And repurchase your collection of railway magazines

That I donated in ERRORORRE

A word of advise before you die

Never X Katherina

Jane x