I own a cafe that is part of an underground station

It is very popular and was profitable

Until about a year ago

When a crip in a wheelchair complained

That my disabled access was poor

I told him that I did not cater for minorities

And would not accept blind customers if they walked

Through the door and then into the tables and then the chairs

Cheese graters were so fucking expensive ..

And the menus had already cost me a fortune

In fact my lovely little cafe was for able bodied people only

That is why it was called

The Able Bodied Cafe

But the crip was one of those fucking idiots

Who could not let it go and reported me

To both London Transport and the local authority

In short I was instructed to put in a ramp

So that cripples and those on disability scooters

Might access the cafe and not feel excluded

This I did at great expense

As I did not get much change out of £8000

Which ate into my annual profits

The problem was that with the exception of the crip

No cunt used it apart from kids playing marbles

I am not a cruel person and realise that crips

Do have a place in society even if they do get in the way

I went to church to ask God for forgiveness and direction

Nothing happened as the almighty must have been busy

That was until last Tuesday when I saw the crip in his wheelchair

Bombing along the icy platform towards me as crips tend to do

He then skidded on a patch of ice and fell into the path

Of an oncoming train and was crushed and fried all at once

I should have been shocked but I was not as I felt a great happiness

The happiness was so great that I arranged for the fucking ramp

To be broken up next day and donated the spoil to St Peter’s

For their children’s rockery and alpine pool

There is a moral to this story but I have yet to find it