What are you smiling at Stan

You do not want to know

Try me

Have you ever heard of a politician called

No should I have

He vanished a number of years ago

Really

It became an unsolved mystery until about a year ago

Are you listening Jane

Yes

Well a chap on his death bed confessed to a crime that he had committed many years previously

He had murdered a famous politician

It seems that apart from being totally corrupt this creature was heavily into scatophilia

What is that or need I ask

It is an interest in shit

This is going downhill Stan

Remember I am in a delicate condition

Well this politician got his kicks by shitting on to the glass table in his apartment

Just weird Stan just weird

I agree

But it gets worse as he picked up men

To lay under the said table and watch him shit

Yuk

I cannot even stand it when dog shit these days

One night this politician picked up the wrong person

As this guy was an absolute psycho

I do not think I am going to like this

Well there he was there crouched over his coffee table

Shitting for shitting sake when this fruitcake

Pulled out a powerful handgun and blew

The politicians arsehole right through the top of his head

How horrible why did you tell me about this

Because you asked

I suppose I did but I am still curious about it

How did the chap get away with it as surely this politician was missed

He was

It appears the assassin dumped the corpse in the guys car and drove to a lake many miles away and dumped the car into the waters

It sank into sixty feet of water

How did he find that depth of water

I do not have a clue perhaps he joined a sub-aqua club

And that was that and up to the deathbed confession nothing was known for sure

There was blood and shit everywhere in the apartment but no fat corrupt politician either alive or dead

It soon became a cold case

But surely the psycho committed other crimes

He did but none as gory as this one

He actually died in prison

For what

He did not pay his television licence

End of conversation Stan

He robbed banks and some good guys died

Have they located the car

I believe so but nothing has been reported

A cover up

Maybe

As there is more to this assassination than meets the eye

Really was he a hit man

More like a shit man Jane

Funny Man Stan