Do you masturbate Jean

Sometimes

How often

About once a week

Do you like being watched

Depends on my mood

What brings you on

Lighthouses

Any particular type of lighthouse

I am not choosy

What about you Robbie

I masturbate whenever I can

Are you on your own

Most of the time

What turns you on

I am turned on by philosophy

Philosophy

Yes

Any type of philosophy

More the modern stuff

All philosophy is just mental masturbation

That is an odd thing to say

It is not my quote

Then who

Ludwig Wittgenstein

Here is my book about Kant

Do you want to masturbate over my Kant

Very much but it is not a physical act for me

As it is for you

As you know my eyesight is poor

And it is said that masturbation

Can cause blindness

And I do not want to risk that

I will touch your Kant

It will please me

But I will stay strong

Do you not find my Kant attractive

I find it very attractive

And I am honoured that you have let me see your Kant

But I cannot run the risk

Otherwise I may not be able

To enjoy my local lighthouse

Are you into lighthouses like me

Not sexually

I am just fascinated by lighthouses