I occasionally direct movies

Some are successful and some bomb

At present I am directing an action movie

Which I know will be successful

The hero has along with three others

Have disguised themselves as clowns

And have infiltrated a circus to kill the bad guys

They have attached silencers to their weapons

So that they do not attract attention

Their first hit is the poisoned ginger dwarf

Done

Their next target is a corrupt politician

Who is not as bright as he thinks he is

Done

The final target is the most dishonest character

Who appears to wear a blonde wig

He pleads for his life

Done

Apart from this the movie is a series

Of car chases shootouts and spectacular stunts

The female lead is gorgeous

And removes her shirt in the first twenty minutes

This is designed to add to the box office

My movie is called Shadow Assassins

I have a reputation for these vacant movies

Shadow Assassins a Joe Starr movie

But I would much rather make languid dreamlike films

Such as the French do with so much ease

My Summer of Happiness

Or explore the beautiful southern counties of England

With a gossamer lens and water colour thoughts

But these do not sell as they appeal to different audiences

My action films are just violent confectionery and nothing else

A quick fix rather like a quick visual wank

I think that this says a lot about where we are today

Enough said as I am about to direct the bad guy

Who on this occasion is thin and grey with a scruffy beard

Being thrown off a bridge into a ravine

My direction will last less than an hour

And then the special effects guys take over

You heard it here first my loyal friends


Joe Starr