Kitty
I have a friend named Kitty
She is very attractive
I have always been in awe
Of her considerable beauty
Yesterday I met Kitty in the park
And she asked me if I would like
To see her kitty
I could not believe my luck
Kitty’s Kitty
I was told to turn around
And close my hungry eyes
This I did without argument
Kitty then asked me to face her
And open my eyes
She handed me a mirror
Marxist Intellectual
I was invited to the local university
To give a poetry reading
Rimbaud and Lautréamont
The poor students
Looked at me with blank eyes
As did most of the academics
After the reading Jackie
Introduced me to her professor
Who she said was a Marxist Intellectual
What is a Marxist Intellectual I asked
As I stared into the void
Under the Skin
I met Kitty’s friend Sandra
At a Christmas Party
She was the ugliest woman
I had ever seen
At a guess she was size twenty
With fat on her fat in her fat
I lost count of her chins
She had the dress sense
Of a sloth on heat
But I was nice to her
Yet wished I was blind
After the party ended
Kitty walked me home
Through the park
As I was afraid of getting raped
We discussed Sandra
As we watched a trans bashing
Near the ornamental pond
She asked me why I found Sandra gross
As we are all beautiful under the skin
I disagreed and said that without her skin
Sandra would be a mound of rotting viscera
Covered in a mass of fat fat fat
And although Sandra was pretty gross
I felt that we were getting the best deal
Not My Joke
Every Tuesday after Mass
Kitty and I would lie on our beds
And masturbate together
We often chatted and put the world in order
Yesterday we discussed our favourite jokes
Kitty’s favourite was
Do you realise that Princess Diana was on the radio when she died
(I have still to work that one out)
A Jimmy Carr joke was my choice
How do you get a faggot to fuck a woman
Shit up her cunt
I am so glad that Kitty is my friend
And that she is going to Lourdes with me
After her gender reassignment is complete
Sick Boy