Hi Joe
Maude I have not seen you for such a long time
Are you good
Being censored as normal but okay
Josie
She is in Bali
As her best friend’s wedding
And you
I am flying out on Saturday
Wow I am sooo jealous
Are you still acting
Yes
Your play
It is in Donny next week and then Leeds
Are you enjoying it
Yes and no
Why
Because of the egos
There are too many egos
Have you heard of Lesley Goode
Is she that actress in a wheelchair
The same
Well apart from the BBC series she has done a few adverts and played Caliban at the Globe
You were Miranda
Josie and I popped along
Joe you silly boy
You should have come to see me
We did not want to intrude
What did you think of her
It took me a while to get used to Caliban in a wheelchair
This said I thought her performance lacked depth
She was not Caliban to me
You can guess why she was cast
For the same reason that a woman plays Richard the Third
Or Julius Caesar is black
But do you ever see a white Othello
No
They try to disguise it as experimental or broad theatre
But you know what it is all about
Well dear Las for whatever reason managed to get cast in my play
Which technically is low theatre
We tour the provinces
Theatre for the masses
I like giving something back
Although I am reasonably well known because of that Yorkshire vet series
I am an actress and not a star
I would run away if anybody said that to me
You would never see me at functions with my tits hanging out
I do not have any social media accounts
I am by my own choice an invisible actress
The same cannot be said of dear Las
She has gone the whole hog
She has an Instagram account and has just believe it or not taken part in a naked photo shoot sponsored by some cosmetics company
I think I will give that a miss
Whilst I do not mind nudity in what I do
My Miranda would have not been the same
If I had not revealed myself
I missed that part Maude
Liar
I was in the bar
The worst thing is that Las it not alone as Eileen Parker who is a double amputee is there along with Cherry Baker
Is she that girl with Downs Syndrome
Yes she is a sweet girl unlike Las but does not realise she is being used rather like the grossly fat women in earlier shoots
I will keep my head low then
Las was only cast in my play as the sponsors put pressure on Doug
They wanted to be seen as being inclusive but the girl has been miscast
It has all gone to her head and she is chasing that cause and this cause
Climate race all the gay stuff and obviously the Middle East
They have no idea of the history of the conflicts
I have been approached by my old university because of who I am
But I declined which was not well received
My thoughts are my own and I would imagine that they are knowing you Joe quite similar to the way that you look at things
Too many actors get involved in these leftie causes without realising that they are being used
Las in my view is not that good as an actress she lacks depth and understanding and overplays her disability which is sad
I would like to think that in five years that I will be still acting somewhere but this said I will not betray myself
You are my kind of actress Maude
The type of actress who you see on the tube
Ordinary just ordinary
I try to be that
Do you ever get asked for autographs
Occasionally
Selfies
Once or twice
But although I am super nice truthfully I am very uncomfortable
Who am I
I am no better than them
It is just because I am an actor
Have you had a stalker yet
No
But I have placed an ad in The Times
You should apply
Only if you get me chucked inside
I will be able to write my prison diaries
Joe I need a hug
Please do not be a stranger when you return
You and Josie must pop down to see me
We are both travelling in different ways
But time has the right to stand still
Always the poet
Yes when I am not banned
You are only banned because you tell the truth
You write without borders
Your work is never dull
It is forever evolving
It changes without one noticing the change
Time for a coffee
Please
I know a darling little place near St P
Would John have approved
I would imagine so
Then I am your date until my afternoon train
Joe & Maude