Hi Fred

Hi Bert

Is that your dog

Not really

What do you mean

This dog belongs to itself

Who am I to demand possession

Nobody owns me

Alice owns you

You might have a point

What breed is it

It is a Black Labrador Retriever

What is its name

I was going to call it Lucy

But the dog objected

As it wanted to be called Nigger

Is that your dog Bert

Yes

No I am fucking not

Do you want a kick

Come the revolution arsehole

It looks like a Chihuahua

Oh you are a thick cunt as well

I am a fucking Dalmatian

Without the spots

What do you call it

It what is an it

I wanted to call it Percy

But Chloe preferred Killer

Killer do I look like a Killer

All I do is nip your ankles

And look wide eyed and pathetic

Are you going to the pub mate

I was thinking about it

Which one

The Tomb for Two allows dogs

Sounds good

I know where I am going to spend my evening

What

Oh go back to sleep Nigger

Stale water and dead flies

Cheese and onion crisps

Wow fucking Wow