Hi Joe
Martin
Is Josie there
Not at present
Would you thank her for my birthday gift
I will
What did she get you
My Big Book of Black Philosophers
How nice
I do have a question for you about this lovely book
Go ahead
When I opened it I found four hundred and ninety six blank pages
Yes
It confused me
Think about it Martin
I will
Do you know where Josie purchased it from
Most bookshops stock it
I recently found a very small book the size of a pinhead
Really what was it called
My Biafran Cook Book
It is some years old
I have purchased many copies but I keep losing them
How is your teaching going at St Judes
Down the hole
We have just received the children of some illegals
But you teach in Broadway
Remember the countryside is racist
You say you received the kids of some illegals
Yes
How many
One the rest drowned
He is not really brown more a mottled colour
One of his ancestors was probably raped by a slave owner
He is a smart little chocolate
Really it must be his heritage
Possibly
But he has one thing holding him back
No matter what task I set him
He always goes back to the colour of his skin
Maths
Fermat’s Last Theorem
Even Fermat’s Last Theorem
Wow
He cannot see further than the colour of his skin
What colour is it
Do you go to Costa Coffee
Sometimes
Well it is somewhere between an Americano and a Latte
How old is he
He says he is sixteen although he looks more like he is in his thirties
Surely he was tested
No that is supposed to be racist
Common sense more like it
What does he want to be when he grows up
A black philosopher
Really I wish him luck
Can he spell
Not really but Cambridge have accepted him
I wanted to go to Cambridge Martin
Why did you not go
I failed the interview
Really
Yes my fucking train was cancelled
I was so disappointed
That mummy and daddy sent me to Paris
What was she like
Blonde shaven great tits I learnt a lot from her
Was she gay
Not really I found her quite moody at times
That must have been horrible for you
Well she was ninety-six
Josie’s just returned
That is nice
I will pass you across
She has been rehearsing Vita and Virginia
What part is she playing
A member of the England Ladies Football Team
You try explaining that to your little ones
Josie and I took Griselda to a recent international against Holland and like any girl she wanted to know everything about the players
What was their day job
Who were they married to
Was he handsome
How many children did they have
I did not have the heart to tell her and wished we had taken her to the real England v Holland game as it would have been far simpler
The opposition did confuse her
How old is she now
Twenty-Three
So I told her to think of a country riddled with dykes
It worked
Joe stop hogging the phone you bad boy
Who is it
Only Fans
Hello Kitty
Martin
Shush