As I grow up there is one thing that really disappoints me

That is the amount of minger’s that you see when you are out

Some days when I am shopping with mummy

I can go for hours without seeing a beautiful woman

This makes me very sad you know

Sometimes I feel like crying

You are a very lucky fellow Joe

As Josephine is so attractive

When I sleep I often dream of her on the beach where Daddy goes when Mummy is away

My bedroom overlooks the convent next door

The sisters frequently wave to me and gift me figs

But do not wear their swimming costumes even on hot days

How I wish that I overlooked your garden

And because of this I am confused about God

Why I ask did I not get the room overlooking your garden

But if Daddy likes it for his model trains and his private time

So be it

If that is God’s will then who am I to argue

At school I am learning about other countries

This has opened my eyes greatly

As the women In some countries are totally minger free

Even the fat ugly ones are beautiful

Whereas other countries are totally full of minger’s

This I believe is why the men who live there can be so aggressive

Fancy living in a minger saturated country

It would do my head in big time

My favourite countries are Sweden Norway Denmark and Finland

As the women who live there are so so gorgeous

When I am grown up I will become a missionary and help these countries out

At skool we are learning about the bum bandits which I find very difficult to understand

Men attracted to men and wearing dresses where is that in the Bible I ask

But what has disturbed me even more is that these creatures can be found in minger free countries

I cannot work that one out

They must all be mentally ill

In the countries that are full of minger’s I might just understand this

Although they could just close their eyes and think of Sweden

Daddy says that it is because they are all interested in gardening

As they are a dirty bunch of seedotiles


Christopher Julian (aged eight)