Joe 

If God ever resigned what would happen 

How the fuck should I know 

I have heard somewhere that all candidates 

Will have to answer three questions 

Are you are aware of these questions

I am 

Please would you share them with your followers 

I have no followers 

The only follower I have is Norman who thinks I have a nice arse

The questions 

Are you going to apply 

No 

Then why ask 

Because there are those who might be interested 

Such as 

The Members of Parliament who have either resigned or had the whip taken from them

Because they like boys more than girls 

That figures 

Question One – Why are the women in the Conservative Party so odd

Gosh that is a hard one 

They do not say that very often 

Why

In another life Tommy Till 

Question Two – Why do Labour Members of Parliament always boast of down at mill upbringings when selling their council houses

What is a council house Joe

Where the poor people live

Question Three – Does Question Three exist in a rational universe 

I have an ambition to live on Uranus Joe 

Enough Tommy as this is a family show 

Is there life on Mars 

Yes 

How do you know that 

Have you ever purchased confectionery in Bradford 

Do you think that God will stand down Joe

Not a chance 

These questions are unanswerable

I know

Who set these questions 

Who do you think 

Sky Daddy 

Right first time 

Joe 

Tommy 

How close am I to God 

About the width of this coffee table