Joe poor Joe I was so sorry that you have suffered a petit mal

You poor darling

Thank you for your grace Grace

But it was not a petit mal as I often stare into space

I was suffering from a virus an infection gained from those dark of skin

And ended up in distress near Virginia’s bench

Darling fair Josie rescued me and I spent the rest of the afternoon bedded against her perfect breasts

You are always welcome to sleep on my considerably larger breasts but I know that you are honourable towards Josephine

Please accept this likeness of me unclothed as a gesture of our friendship

Thank you as Josie and I still have a problem with flies in the summer

I hear that you have been working on an account of George Dymock’s life

Your sources are correct

What fascinates you about this man

I first came across him at Kings as he was the only poet that I know who drowned in a street puddle

That is interesting

He was in Deptford near where poor Marlowe died when he stumbled out of an inn and fell into a puddle

George was full of ale as were his friends and he drowned face down

What a pointless death

I agree

He died in February 1685 on the same day as Charles the Second

You mother told me that when you were very young that you saw the ghost of Charles the Second on the landing of your home

That is indeed true as I was suffering an episode

What did you do

I hid under my blankets and considered Catholicism

I have never read much of George’s poetry

A great deal of it was either banned or suppressed

He was like the Earl of Rochester and fucked many women

Is it true that George once fucked his own daughter and later married his own granddaughter

Indirectly

The story is that when he was studying at Oxford he met a woman aged between thirty-five and forty who had been neglected by her soldier husband

Her childless womb was ageing faster than her features

She feared the barren years and was determined not to die childless

I can guess what happened

And you would be correct but there was a carousel

Meaning

The woman on her husbands last period of leave brought a fair maid into their bed

After years of conflict her husband was tired in mind and body

But he still managed to fuck them both

Which was the excuse for the woman to seek child

Shortly afterwards she met George whose raven looks (he was from an Italian lineage) attracted her greatly

She seduced him on the spot and long story short she was soon with child

Her empty womb now carried a child

Was there a happy ending

Yes and no

Explain

Her husband was killed in battle about six months later

And she was looked after by her family

In a way poor George did not stand a chance

He was oblivious of his daughter

And carried on writing poetry and plays and generally fucking his way through all the fair maidens in London

He made it a rule that he only deflowered virgins as they were pure and he would not be infected

Sensible

Many years passed

George was sent down from Oxford for satirising the King

He drifted around Europe and was celebrated there

But not in England as he was seen as something of a rake

The story of how he ended up fucking his own daughter is so absurd as it lacks credibility

I am all ears Joe

I would say that you are all breasts Erica

Wicked Joe

I will tell Josie

She would not care

We have an open relationship

I am the one who keeps my door locked

It is safer that way

You are so pure Joe

Please return to your fascinating tale

It is true and has been documented by others

Go on

George although liking Europe had become attached to some unsavoury characters

And was accused of being a spy

Time to fuck off I think

He came back to England and laid low as he was still not trusted

I break the story here as the older woman who he impregnated had remarried after her husbands death

A rich merchant from Oxford who was looking for companionship changed her life

She lived in a great house and for the first time in her life was very happy as she also had a fair daughter who had inherited her fathers raven beauty

Sadly Alice was very spoilt and wanted for nothing

Her mother knew this and almost kept her under lock and key

This frustrated Alice who in the absence of men began to favour other girls

A harmless occupation as you well know

But soon her mother became feeble of mind

It was probably syphilis gained from her husband who had died a couple of years previously

This is all that was recorded about her mother apart from an entry in Will Smith’s Diary which was published in 1850

He was a friend of the family and noted that whilst Alice was quite wild and considered herself to be a poet and an artist she was really quite untalented

But she was very beautiful and knew it well

What he recorded about her mother is rather disturbing as although she appeared feeble of mind she did have lucid moments and was shocked when George was invited to the house by Alice because of his reputation as a dissolute poet

It seems from Will’s description that the mother had something similar to what we might now call a locked in syndrome

It is not clear but this is a possibility

George although senior to Alice was a very attractive man

Two ravens met and the obvious happened

It is said such was Alice’s spite that they fucked in front of the mother in her bed chamber

Whether this is true is open to question

Two things then happened firstly Alice became heavy with child and secondly George was arrested as he was implicated in a plot against the King

Charles actually liked George as he saw a lot of himself in the poet so instead of being executed he was exiled

Even though Charles did not believe the accusations for a minute he had to be seen not to favour his friend

George ended up in Catholic Spain and was granted a secret allowance by the King

Although history does not confirm this in any way it is thought that he was employed as a spy

What about the mother Joe

There are only a few records to go from but it is thought that the shock of George fucking his own daughter killed her

She died from shock in the abyss of her own memories

What became of Alice

She married well and brought her daughter up (also named Alice) in some splendour

And then Alice disappeared from history

I can find no records of her fate

Unlike her mother and grandmother Alice was a gentle and very religious creature

She was much liked especially by Charles and Catherine

And this is where things become strange as I have already noted that Charles rather liked George and when he heard that George had been badly injured during a sword fight in Seville

He invited him back to England to recover from his wounds and granted him a residence not far from Wallingford

Although George had aged he was very fit for his years as he did not drink heavily indeed his only vice was fucking virgins

He had also retained his looks

Catherine thought that it would be a good idea if Alice was sent to ensure that George made a complete recovery

Charles knew that not even George would not insult him by seducing Alice

In time George and Alice grew very close and she even let him bathe her

He often sketched her quite naked in the garden of the house

For the first time in his licentious life George fell in love

He was besotted with his pure nurse

He asked the King for permission to marry Alice which was granted

A year later George and Alice were married and soon had a baby girl that they named Catherine after the Queen

The Virgins of England were now safe once again

That is an incredible story are you sure it is true

It is very true and was well known for many years until the Victorians censored it

George’s life was cleaned up and he was presented as a heroic poet spy who died in an unfortunate accident

Little did they know that he was probably the only poet in history who fucked his own daughter and granddaughter after fucking the mother

Who was also the grandmother of the second Alice

I agree it was all rather complicated

Even George was not aware of this during his lifetime

And the second Alice

I doubt it as she and Catherine lived long and happy lives

What do you think of George’s poetry

It is really rather good the equal of Rochester

I would like to read some of their poetry

And so you will

When Josie and I next visit you

I will gift you two books



Joe & George