I think that went well Joe

Bad Cop Good Cop

I think your ratings will rise

Hopefully

I wish you the best

People might see you as a hypocrite

If anything I am the Puppet Master

I am no hypocrite

Neither are you

You are ambitious

There is no harm in that

I would like you

Stella Simon and Ian

To succeed

Thank you for your confidence Joe

Off the record what would you change if you were in power

I would bring back an updated version of Section 28

It was an important piece of legislation

What else would you do

I would limit immigration as we are being swamped at present

What about the asylum seekers

I could count the real asylum seekers on one hand

If you do not have a right to be in the UK then off you go

Thirdly I would fade devolution as it has been a disaster

I would bring both Wales and Scotland back into the fold

What would you do if I was recording this conversation in secret

Nothing

Nothing

I lie

I would take you out to dinner

Stella Simon Ian

Joe and Josie

What an intelligent table that would be