Hi Cassie I had a great day in Death Valley It was spectacularly hot But that is not my news As I think I have found the missing s It was written inside a shelter Spiderman Superman Everyman Cupid bears down her prayers with his wings Rob That is from Kit Marlowe’s Hero and Leander […]

Chance was a very successful singer Who accompanied by his girlfriend Sis Became Salt Lake City 2 The duo burned brightly for just over three years Before they both disappeared over the Amazon When flying to a mystery gig in Brazil in 1998 They were both very small in stature And Sis become noted for […]

Chance was a very successful singer Who accompanied by his girlfriend Sis Became Salt Lake City 2 The duo burned brightly for just over three years Before they both disappeared over the Amazon When flying to a mystery gig in Brazil in 1998 They were both very small in stature And Sis become noted for […]

I slept with a world famous actress last night Many men would have liked to be in my place This was the last thing that I expected to happen I maintain and clean the pools of the rich and famous It is a trite occupation but I enjoy its simplicity Yesterday on my last call […]

When I lived in a squat on the Coventry Road I used to share Michael’s sister With all the others in the house This was not a sexual arrangement As we only exchanged charcoal sketches Of each other sleeping in our central beds Kitty T was by far the best artist Although she was partially […]

I frequently receive correspondence from fans and anti-fans reacting to my poetry and fictions 1/ You are a not a poet Keats was a poet You are a piece of shit Die Soon Love Mum (PS are you still coming for dinner on Sunday) 2/ I find your poetry racist homophobic and sexist (what about […]

I am not sure why I have called this poem My Nudist Manifesto As it is not about nudists Far from it The poem is about a bus station That is situated directly opposite my apartment I say my department (typo) but it is shared I live with a gay girl named Geraldine Who is […]

There is a politician so fat That I am considering Turning her into a piece of art By painting a landscape on her fat fat arse It will not be as lovely as the chewing gum art That entertains me each day on the Millennium Bridge But I am sure that the Grand Canyon will […]

This code of colours was unique to Staithes Which is situated here on the East Coast of England The women of the town carried fish baskets on their head When transferring the catch when their men returned And the bonnets were designed with this in mind The wide brim was there to stop the sun […]

The Oxford Book of English Verse abandoned In the waiting room of a Shropshire Railway Station