In January I was walking my dog On the edge of a summer cornfield When we were both hit by a car My dog was killed outright And I although cut and bruised Was otherwise uninjured The driver of the car had been drinking And was sent to prison for a year Last week I […]

How do you date a mouse Julie That is easy Is it Yes Find a saucer and add some cheese You then put on your glad rags And take me to the cinema

Willa aime les abeilles d’été Willa aime l’industrie des abeilles Willa adore son jardin de lavande Les abeilles font du miel

How many dresses Do you own Three What colours Vivid Pink Vivid Black Vivid White

You do not talk very much There is not much to say Your eyes What about my eyes They speak to me What do they say Not so much Ellen

Norway had already docked But was hidden within the deep fog We heard Ellen’s voice before I saw her running towards us She was wearing a vivid pink dress

yes yes yes yes it is totally illogical but it will work where would you like to live we will make a good profit on our richmond pile i will have to break it to virginia but she will understand thank you for the venice photographs how often did you both get upskirted one day […]

Hi Joe Somebody somewhere once said I have a dream Josie has a very silly dream I cannot give up Cora She is the girl that I have been waiting for All of my life as she ticks all of the boxes And she feels the same about me I certainly do not want to […]

For many years I have studied the skies over Richmond hoping to catch a sighting of an Albatross It is unlikely that I will ever see an Albatross over Richmond The same be said of the cops A couple of weeks ago I witnessed something daft on a busy road leading out of a town […]

Joe during the recent hot spell Annie and I went out for a walk in Anytown by the Sea Annie had recently split up with Mark and was in high spirits as he was so far up his own arse that he cleaned his teeth from the inside Hot days and drinking do not mix […]