Hi Joe Les You are going to enjoy this I was in a small coastal town yesterday When I saw a couple of cops Sitting in a police car (obviously) They were enjoying coffee together She is such a slut Funny Man They were parked on a double yellow So what Decay Joe Decay Listening […]

Come join me here in East Kent I am living in a cottage near the sea Where I used to stay when I was a child You were telling me that you have never Witnessed the bright white light That Turner celebrated and so admired Do get the next train south my dear girl And […]

Josie I must say that it fucks me off That one of our greatest poets Who has a prestigious award Named after after his achievements Has been soiled again by worthless entrants I have looked at this years nominations And not one is a true poet far from it I am not interested in perverts […]

Our paradise was almost hidden from view Which was its biggest advantage Glenda and I often spent time there Just listening to the colourful birds And generally being very lazy I have written a number of poems About these wonderful days Which I keep locked in my study I am thinking of publishing them When […]

This is White Street Although it is called Orange Street We live in a Green House At the top of Red Street Which is near White Street And parallel to Orange Street Coffee is always better after sex

I was in the City of the Pilgrims And unfortunately cut my finger Which caused it to bleed As I did not want to stain my clothes I went into a Catholic Church And bathed my injury In the Holy Water near the door I soon left the sacred building Thinking no more of my […]

As the year waned in the city My girlfriend gave me Her Colorado Rapids football shirt As I was rather cold in my bed She also gave me her bed socks Her brother has not noticed the theft

I had just begun my winter hibernation When I was awoken from my journey Painful things were happening to me I was spinning in a vacuum And unable to ground myself When the symmetry of pain Breaks your skin You bleed for many hours

They can walk, hover and the males can even sing love songs to woo mates – all this with a brain that’s tinier than a pinhead Then why do they eat shit This said they are incredible creatures Far more advanced than many humans Naughty Joe You are not a very nice person Why do […]

Sephine Did Josie Suggest this To you I like flannels But I am more Of a sponge man myself I am in my bath As I write this (do not drop your phone joe) There is plenty of room In this tub For ewe to join me later Bring your flannel And I will bring […]